Especially for you, Katie...

Katie has asked that I please update my blog. She says that while the picture of John Mayer is nice, it is time for him to go. Personally, this hurts me a little, but I think I am going to be okay.

So, anyway....back to the award. Here is the short story. The presenter forgot me. That's it. She just forgot me. She was reading through all of the honorees. My name came up on the screen and she either skipped me or just missed me. So there it was. The ceremony is over. Someone comes up and whispers in her ear that there was one more. That would be me. She comes to mic, says that she has another one and then all she can say is "Doesn't she look lovely?" Are you kidding me?!?!? That's it? Did she read what my peer nomination even said? In any case, here I am looking lovely with my oh-so-special award.
I have also moved into high gear with my school work. I have two papers due next week, which is not terrible, but with working full-time, having a puppy, and an exchange student I am a little overloaded. I guess this is what I signed up for, though.

Back to the lit review... Can you believe I am having trouble finding information on theories behind school violence?

The Big Apple.....kind of...

I was away this week for the 21st Century Community Learning Center statewide conference in Tarrytown. Essentially, I was about 45 minutes by train to New York City and we took advantage of being so close. Tuesday was a travel day so we made our way from Waterloo to Tarrytown and attended the conference during the day. We were done at 4:45 so we traveled into the city and wandered around Times Square (I got a new Swatch!), Chinatown, Little Italy, and just Manhattan in general. Dinner was a bowl of soup from the famed Soup Nazi place followed by a street pretzel and finsihed by a fruit tart in Little Italy. We did check out a few knock off bags, but the quality of knock offs seem to be getting worse. Yuck.

Wednesday morning we sat through a couple of speakers and then hit the train to the city. Behind the library in Bryant Park is a bunch of outdoor shops they call the Winter Festival. There was jewelry, dog boutique (for little yappers), lamps, hats and mittons...just an assortment of handmade things in general. Good stuff. I did have some success finding Christmas elves here and finished up some shopping. That was good!

We had to be back to the hotel by 4:30 to get ready for the "formal" dinner that was happening. I was being given an award for excellence in after school programming and was an "honoree."

More to come...

It is a happy day, indeed....

John Mayer is a beautiful man. I am happy to say that today he released a new single called "Say" along with live recordings of some of his songs from Continuum. You can listen to Say on his blog. Scroll down until you see the big black box that says "Say", sit back, relax, and let your ears go on a beautiful acoustic journey. I didn't think I would ever say that an artist debunked the Indigo Girls as my all time favorite, but I think Johnny has done it. Love his stuff. Listen. Buy. Enjoy.

In other news, I would like to report that I have been running consistently every other day. I was under 11 minute miles yesterday, so I am counting that as a success. I am actually looking forward to it again, which is a good sign.

Belle had her last set of puppy shots last Friday. She is now a hefty 35 pounds of boundless, happy to be alive energy. She is beautiful and the vet says she is nice and healthy. The night before we went to the vet I pulled a tick off her. I am guessing she picked it up in Gettysburg, but I can't imagine that I would not have found it before last Thursday? Not sure. In any case, the tick took a trip to the state health department and hopefully tests will come back negative for Lyme's Disease.

Speaking of disease... Martine had her first trip to the docter's office today. They expected her to know what to do, how to behave, etc. She didn't know what was happening when they put the blood pressure cuff on her...had no idea what it was. She made a great face when they were looking in her ears and throat, too. She got two prescriptions and took no time saying "I am not taking these things." Whatever works. if she hasn't been to a doctor in her seventeen years for an antibiotic, why start now. We Americans sure are good at overmedicating!

Birthday girl

So here it is. My 33rd birthday. I was so excited to turn 33 because it was a nice symmetrical, aesthetically pleasing number. Now it's here and I don't like it all that much.

I have realized that life is not really passing me by, but maybe I am passing it by? I am so busy, so focused on my education and continuing to grow my brain that somewhere along the way I forgot to have a family. I am not saying that I regret doing that, but at the same time I do wonder where my life is going...what I will be doing. I have Belle and Scout and Nala, but I really enjoy having Martine around (at least today I do) and spending time with someone who is temporarily my "daughter." I have really questioned whether I wanted children and I think that I do. I am certainly in absolutely no hurry, but I think that I would be at least a decent mom and I really enjoy that connection.

I got up later than I usually do this morning and realized that no one was upstairs. Martine had requested to go to school early this morning so I wondered where she was. I made my way downstairs to let Belle out and noticed that the kitchen door was closed and Belle was not in her crate. That was a little weird. I opened the door and Belle nearly bowled me over (it is good to be loved!), while Martine was standing at the counter pulling apart bacon and Amy was making eggs and has browns.

Martine had actually asked Amy if she could make breakfast for me for my birthday. I would have been very happy with Cream of Wheat (there's some nostalgia that goes along with that) and Amy said that she had suggested that but Martine wanted to make eggs, hasbrowns, bacon, and toast because it is what she makes her parents for their birthdays each year. I was incredibly touched by this gesture and will always be grateful to Amy for helping Martine to accomplish this.

Tonight we are off to dinner at the Dinosaur BBQ in Rochester and will probably follow that up with ice cream from Maggie Moos for dessert.

Speaking of Maggie Moo, she was in my dream last night along with my Mom Mom. I think I was having a hard time with having "seen" both of them last night and should feel reassured they are still with me, but I miss each of them every day. I know how proud my grandmother would be for who I have become and what I have done with myself. She was such a positive force in my life for helping me to believe I could do it and to hold those expectations high.

Thank you for always. Here's to another year behind me and many more ahead!

Back on the wagon?

I know it is waaaaaay to early to early to say that I am back on the wagon, but I just may be. I pounded out three miles today non-stop. No walk breaks, just a steady run. It was not fast, but it was a legit three miles and I will take it. Martine has written "running" on every day of our calendar for the week, so I guess she is up for it, too. Whatever works!!

This weekend was fantastic. I was in Wellsville for the Jim Donavan concert and to spend time with Katie and Erica. The Stevens' met Belle and she romped with the girls. Too funny.

Today Martine and I went to the Rochester Science Museum to see the "Our Bodies" exhibit. Basically, it is plasticized bodies (real ones) that are on display. It is pretty incredible, but really creepy at the same time.

That's about it for now. I am tired and tomorrow is my birthday. YIKES! Better go rest up!

My battery is dying!

Just when I get ready to blog I get a message that my battery is ready to die. I guess I will have to really get it out quick.

First, I ran tonight. I didn't run fast and I didn't run far, but I ran. I ran 2.3 miles tonight to be exact. And I ran them. All of them. YAY ME! Martine dragged my butt down there, so big thanks go to the Norwegian Princess!

We spent the weekend at Gettysburg checking out the town and battlefields. More on that tomorrow along with some pictures.

A good day today, I would say!

Blogging Slacker!

I have seriously been a blogging slacker lately. I don't know why since I really do love to write. I guess I am really feeling crunched for time to try to fit everything into my days and still I miss important things...you know....like making sure that I take good care of myself. So a quick run down of what has been going on...

First, the closing on the sale of my house was today. I drove down last night in a rented pick-up truck and cleaned the rest of my things out of the house. The truck was jam packed with mostly books, but the gun cabinet my dad built as well as my childhood rocking chair and some other things. I called my neighbors tonight to see if anyone was in the house, but I am sure they are out trick or treating. A chapter closed, I guess.

We carved pumpkins with the Norwegian Princess tonight. She dressed up as a butterfly and was covered (tightly, but covered nonetheless). This was a huge improvement over the slutty Strawberry Shortcake outfit she had wanted to buy. Yuck.

I have tried to post pictures, but it doesn't seem to be cooperating, so I will try again tomorrow.

Happy Halloween!

By special request...

Here are new pictures of Belle! She is getting long and leggy at 23.8 pounds. She really is this shiny - it's not just the flash! Here she is at 16 weeks....

Hanging in there!

I have not been successful at getting back into any kind of exercise routine even though I keep saying I am going to. Every day is "the day," but it never turns out to be that way. Soccer is almost over and that will cut down on some of the running, but not much. I haven't been to many games lately because of classes. That might not be a bad thing.

The exchange girl was actually quite pleasant tonight. She had her first chorus concert and they introduced her from the stage. She actually looked happy. When we got home she played with Belle, which is an incredibly rare thing. I go back and forth on how I should be treating her. On one hand she is incredibly entitled and inconsiderate (she left the house at 9:30 last night to go tanning without asking....stood in front of the door at Macy's with her arms crossed until someone opened it for her, etc). On the other hand she is 17, in a different country, with parents who are pretty recently divorced. She is out of money and owes Amy and I a decent amount. I am still feeling out how to deal with her.

Belle is awesome and I need to take some new pictures of her. She is stinkin' adorable and getting to the point of being really really independent. She makes me laugh on a daily basis and is overall very even tempered. She is a nice distraction to my busy life.

Okay....it is an early day tomorrow, so I should get some sleep. Maybe tomorrow will be "the day!" Cross your fingers for me.

As Grace Anne would say "See ya later, crocodile."

swamped.

I am completely swamped with school work. Much like undergrad I have waited until the very last minute to work on it. I know. Stupid. Anyway, I need to get a move on and get it out of the way. I am actually critiquing an interesting research study on the possible effects of developmental assets on the delay of sexual activity in single-parent households versus those for youth living in two parent homes. Kind of cool.

The extra computer has been removed in our home and the exchange student no longer has access to Facebook and email. She will be "tracked" over the next few weeks by the Aspect Foundation (the agency that brought her here) and will need to check in with the coordinator at least once a week to report on how she is progressing. We (Amy and I) will also have to report in to let them know if she is reporting accurately. This is a yucky process and I can imagine this is difficult for her. I can not imagine going away for a year and speaking to my family one time per week or emailing one time per week. It would be hard. On the other hand it is what she signed up for and knew up front that was the way it would be.

Tomorrow the coordinator calls to tell her these things, including the fact that her phone from her mother country gets taken away. This means no more texting back and forth with that country or emailing/facebooking every day. She is dangerously close to being out of the program. Please understand there are MANY other issues/concerns that factor into all of this.

Anyway, I am off to do more school work. I am not going to get it finished this way!

The silent treatment.

Today has been interesting with the exchange student. She has spent the majority of the day in her room snacking on her hidden stash of food. She has come downstairs for dinner and to watch Pocohantas. I don't know. Don't ask. In any case, she is grounded for two weeks. A boy came to the door today to pick her up to go to the football game and she wasn't even out of bed yet. We had to tell the poor kid that she wouldn't be going to the game. Sucks for her.

I think I have settled on a name for Belle. How does "Windswept No Belle Peace Prize" work? It keeps in line with the plan on words like I had with Magpie's name and we spend a lot of time saying "NO BELLE!" It cracks me up now each time I say it.

So, I built a couch and two ottomans today, including upholstery. I'm not kidding. Check out www.homereserve.com. They provided a great solution to my furniture needs with a puppy. 5 year warranty and replaceable faric, plus storage under the cushions. Could I ask for more?

On top of that Penn State kicked some butt. Overall, not a bad day!

Okay....I am ready to have my life back now, please?

So many things....

Last weekend I went to Wellsville to check on the house and start emptying what was left. Thankfully, that is not a lot, but it is still enoughyh to have to make several trips and rent something that is decent size to bring things like a lawnmower and bicycle back to Seneca Falls. It was strange to be in the house when it was completely empty again, but it has been such a long time since I was in it that it was okay. Easier than I thought it would be, actually. It also freaked Belle out to be there since she was confused as to why we would be spending time in an empty house. I should be closing in a couple of weeks. I haven't heard anything from the realtor in a couple of weeks and should probably touch base tomorrow. Oh wait...it already is tomorrow.

Yes, it is 1:09 a.m. Why am I up? Well, because our sweet little Norwegian Princess "missed" curfew again. When I say "missed" I am being generous. Curfew is 11:00. She came home at 12:05. The last time she did this she was grounded for a week. She is now grounded for two weeks. I don't understand why parents ground kids because realistically it just sucks for the parents. The kid gets used to it and the parents suffer. Now, because she is sneaky and irresponsible I have to pay by having her in the house more often than she already is. Are you catching on that maybe the whole foreign exchange thing isn't going so well? Yeah. It isn't.

Last weekend was homecoming. She won homecoming princess after bullying her way onto court. Tight pants and telling the boys they needed to vote for you will accomplish that goal when you are 16, blond, and well endowed. Anyway, after the dance she blessed the school by yelling across the gym "I rule this f*cking school!" She actually told Amy she yelled this across the way. Her general attitude is one of entitlement and disrespect. Rarely does "thank you" cross her lips. it is getting old and there is eight months to go....or is there?

School is going well. My intro to concepts of social science research class is good, but a lot of reading. I have a heavy academic weekend with projects and reading. We have two papers and a do at home test due on Monday, plus about 150 pages of reading. My brain is feeling satisfied, though, so that is a very positive aspect. Happy girl in the schooling area.

Belle had her second vet appointment today. She is weighing in at 23.8 pounds and is healthy and beautiful. She has the shiniest coat I have seen on a dog in a long time and her tail never stops. Dr. Gill noticed that today. She was wagging even when she was getting her shot. She generally has a fantastic disposition except for one day out of about every four. Every once in a while she turns into a true demon and you never really know what she is going to do next. In any case she is really growing into quite a nice little lady. Blood showed up for the first time on a chew toy today so that means teething is in full swing now. Nice.

I guess that is what is going on for now. I am tired as usual.

www.rachelschallenge.com

That's all I have to say for today.

So much to update with!

Gosh. Where do I start?

Well...I could start by saying that I need to learn to read for content again. I enjoy reading for pleasure, but haven't really been reading too many research journals and articles lately. I felt like an idiot at class on Monday. Even though I had read the info, I didn't read it thoroughly enough and wasn't able to really offer any insight to the discussion. it won't happen that way again.

Last night the soccer team won against Geneva 6-0. Martine got lots of playing time. She grins the entire time she is on the field, which is so nice to see. After we came home from the game she needed help with homework. I was hoping the homework was English....Social Studies...French...something, anything in the humanities. Oh no. It was math.

Do you remember how to do quadratic equations or how to find the axis of symmetry or the vertex? Neither did I, but I do now! Okay, so math homework done.

I made my first visit to the chiropractor yesterday. Overall a good experience. I had a spasm in my lower back Sunday morning as I was lifting Belle over the baby gate in the living room. It has been in pain ever since and I had finally reached a level where I could not take it anymore. So, snap, crackle, and pop my back is adjusted.

The other good news is that I can look out my window and see a brand spankin NEW windshield in my Jeep! Hallelujah life is good!

Life as a "soccer mom"

I don't recopmmend going from no kids to a sixteen year old overnight. It is exhausting. I am always running somewhere, buying something, picking something up. Who would have thought that it annoys me when I have to pick things up. I used to leave things lay aaaaallllllll over the house and it didn't phase me. Ever.

I had the experience of making dinner for 20 high school soccer girls tonight. It's not a joke. I really did. 7 pounds of ground beef, 7 packets of taco seasoning, two big bags of shredded cheese, two tomatoes, one humungous onion, 2 containers of sour cream, 36 tortilla shells, 2 bags of tortilla chips, a jar of salsa, a jar of hot sauce, 2 peppers, and 2 boxes of ice cream sandwiches later the dinner was complete. They swooped in and huddled around the table. They had their plates picked up and ready to go before I even had the meat out of the oven! (I was keeping the meat warm in teh oven...good thinking, eh?) The only things that remained at the end of the night was a bowl of diced onions and a bowl of diced peppers. Everything else? Ravaged. You may be asking "Why would you do this?" to which I would answer "Because it is what soccer moms in Seneca Falls do." Each night when there is a home game the following day, the entire team has dinner together at one of the girls' house. We sign up and provide food. I am glad I got mine out of the way.

So what is it like to be guardian to a 16 year old blonde bombshell? Well....she is currently grounded. She "missed" curfew by an hour and ten minutes. Yeah. Not like 5 minutes. SEVENTY MINUTES. To make me even crazier, there were sirens going by the house at about the same time she should have been coming home. I was neurotic. I got to experience going to look for a teenager at midnight in my baseball hat, Dansko clogs, and mismatched pajamas. I was ready to go to the door of the house, ring the doorbell, and go in and drag her out of the house. I didn't really care about my personal pride or whether I would embarass her at that point. Did. Not. Care.

So, I would like to say the following to my parents:

• I am sorry I left lights on in rooms I wasn't it. If it makes you feel better it drives me nuts now.
• I am sorry that I really thought that I could lie to you and you would believe me. I now realize that when I told you I was in the house at 11:45 and wasn't that you really did know I was not in the house at 11:45.
• I know that "helping to clean up" is more than just standing in the kitchen watching you actually put things away and wash the dishes.
• I am no longer mad at your for "not getting me up on time." I realize that you tried to get me up on time, when I asked you to get me up. I now take responsibility for the fact that I stayed in bed 45 minutes after you woke me up. I am sorry I blamed you for being late.
• My room would have been clean if I would have had a wall shelf. At least that is what Martine is trying to convince us of. You should have bought the damn shelf.

I think that is all for now. I am tired and my back hurts. Being a mom sucks and so far the pain hasn't gone away. :)

Belle's first visit to the vet

I took my little gila monster to the vet for the first time today. She was wonderful and sweet. If only they could see her at home. Argh!

I wasn't sure how I would do since Belle is going to the same vet I took Mag to. As I pulled into the parking lot I was a little apprehensive, but I also knew it was a new start and it would be okay. As Belle and I were walking around I noticed Maggie's picture in the lobby. She was so beautiful. All of the vet techs came to meet Belle and said how happy they were I was back with a puppy. They are all so kind there.

The vet gave me the run down on crate training, overindulging with treats, letting them chew rocks, etc. Belle is definitely a rock chewer...and everything else that will sit still including people, cats, and coffee tables.

I know this is short, but at least I blogged. I am sooooo tired. There is NO way I could have done three classes a week. I have about 120 pages of booooooring reading to do before Monday. Yikes.

Disney, Daughters, and Dreams

I am alive! I really am. As you can imagine, things have been INSANELY busy. Anyway, I need to get everyone updated on Disney, Belle, Martine, and school. Argh!

Anyway, I figure the easiest way to get the Disney report in is to rip off what Michelle has written on the Disney message boards. She is pathological. I will include most of the pictures she used so the stories make sense, but let me just say I had no idea I looked as awful as I did in some of them. In any case, I was not even close to being the biggest victim of fashion there!

Anyway...here goes....Day 1:
Transportation was a NIGHTMARE! Short version? We were on the plane. We were on the runway. Electrical problem. Sat some more. Approached for take-off. Electrical problem resurfaced. Deplaned. Sat in airport for hoooooooours. Shuttled via limo to Philly. Tickets were screwed up. Made it to Disney at 8:30...six hours later than scheduled! So let's pick up where Michelle starts...
I finally received a call from Mom that she and Jennifer were on the ME bus and heading for POP. I was practically bouncing off the walls!! I told her to give me another call when they hit the Disney arch. That way I could meet them when they got off the bus. I timed it wrong and they were already walking through the lobby by the time I got there around 7:30. I was soooo happy to see them!!

I took them to the room so they could get freshened up and relax a little bit before heading to the Magic Kingdom. As we were getting ready to go, they told me a bit more about their trip. Apparently, Delta put them in a limo with 6 other people to shuttle them to Philly to catch a non-stop flight to FL. It sounds like Delta doesn't screen their limo drivers very well. Mom and Jen both said they thought the guy was drunk - he kept nodding off and driving off the road. It's a miracle they made it to Philly. Then, once they were on the plane, Mom started chatting to the lady next to her. Turns out she is also a DISer - mrsnj91!!

Once they were freshened up, we made our way to find a bus to the Magic Kingdom. We were starving but decided we would eat at the park. I don't think we had to wait very long for a bus to come along. We made it to the Magic Kingdom and decided to find a place to get our Extra Magic Hours' bracelets. There was a huge, long line next to the train station. Jennifer spotted cast members standing next to package pick-up also handing out bracelets. Best part? No line!!!! We got our bracelets and headed down Main Street. This is what we saw:Once the fireworks were over, we headed to find something to eat. It was just after 9:00 PM. This is important information. We did not have a map but headed to the left and ended up in Liberty Square. I knew Columbia Harbor House was close by. We went there. We were told they close at 9:00. Okay, could you please tell us who is open? We were told to go to Pinocchio's. I have eaten there before and was happy they were open. So, we headed to Pinocchio's. We walked in and the place was completely empty. Yup, they closed at 9:00, too. We asked them if there was a place still open. They sent us to Cosmic Ray's.

BINGO!!! We have a winner!! Cosmic Ray's was open, but since they were the only restaurant open in the park, it was packed. We finally made our way to place our order. All three of us had the 1/2 baked chicken with garlic mashed potatoes and carrots. Mom and Jen had carrot cake and I had the chocolate cake. All of us were way too stuffed to eat dessert, so Mom insisted we stick it in her backpack - not a good thing to do. When we were done eating, we headed out for some rides.

The first one was Pooh's Hunny Pots. I love this ride. Jennifer screamed when Tigger jumped out of the bushes!! I thought I was going to pee my pants, because I was laughing so hard. After the Hunny Pots, we made our way to the carousel. We found this guy along the way:
After meeting Goofy, we found the entrance to the carousel. I told Mom and Jen that there was one horse that was special - it's Cinderella's horse. I told them it has a gold ribbon on the tail. We made a pact that whoever found it first while we were waiting got to ride it if it was free during our turn. There were a bunch of people in front of us, so we didn't think we would get it. Well, one of us did get to ride it:
I had a hard time getting on my horse - and it was all the way down. My legs are too short. Well, once the carousel stopped, my horse was all the way to the very top!! You have got to be kidding me??? There was no way I could gracefully dismount. I ended up with my knee in my nose!! Mom and Jen had a good laugh at that. Once we were done with the carousel, we headed to Mickey's PhilharMagic. There was absolutely no line. We only had to wait a few minutes until the next show. All of us loved, loved, loved this show.

After that, we headed to Snow White's Scary Adventures. Jennifer and I were huddling together afraid that something was going to jump out at us. Hey, if Tigger can scare Jen, then something with "Scary" in the name certainly could!! We made it through alive and headed to Peter Pan - also known as "Peed Her Pants" (that is what Jen's Goddaughter calls him). This was the longest line we had to stand in all night. I think it was about 20 minutes.

When Peter Pan was done, it was getting very close for EMH to be done. We made our way to the exit. We got to walk through the base of the castle. I was very excited. The other two times I had been, the castle was closed off. It was beautiful. The mural is stunning. Definitely taking the time to walk through and just take it all in. Plus, the view of Main Street from the castle is beautiful.

We made our way to the bus stop. It was a madhouse. I don't remember exactly how long we had to wait to get a bus, but it felt like forever. We finally made it back to our room around 1:00 AM. Mom and Jen's luggage hadn't arrived to the room yet. I found that a bit odd since it didn't take that long for mine to arrive. Jennifer called luggage service and was told it was at the resort. Mom decided to get the desserts out of her bag. What a mess. Chocolate cake everywhere!!! So much for breakfast! The luggage was finally delivered just after 2:00 AM. All of us had been up for 23 hours at that point. YAWN!!! Time for bed. We needed to get sleep, because MGM was waiting for us in the morning.

OKay...that is all for today! Look for Michelle's MGM update tomorrow!

I hate Killer Whales.

There was a time when Killer Whales were my favorite. Now, after watching Blue Planet: Seas of Life, they are no longer my friends. At first I didn't know what I didn't want to happen more; the killer whale to get beached or the baby seal to be eaten. I know killer whales need to eat. I get that, but c'mon....seriously Shamu...is there really a reason you have to screw around with the baby seal for over half an hour before you eat it? Not only does Orca take the baby seal to deep water to torture it, but once the pup is dead the f'ing whale launched the seal off it's tail and flung it trough the air- like a pea off a spoon, only on a much larger scale. Killer Whales are no longer on my friend list on MySpace. I am, however, still a fan of humpback whales. They only eat plankton and don't fling their food. I am not wearing black and white for a week. I'm not. And if I see that episode of the Blue Planet again, I am not watching it and won't wear black and white for another two weeks. I'm not screwing around anymore.

On a more positive note, I was fortunate enough to find Peter Pan peanut butter back on the shelf of the grocery store tonight! YES!!! Finally!! I have been waiting for months for Peter Pan to come back. I am such a happy girl. Peter Pan and Fluff sandwiches are the best. I am not sharing my Peter Pan with the killer whales.

Martine should be in New York City at this point. We have not heard from her and I am hoping she has landed safely and is getting settled in. Maybe we will still get a call tonight once she is actually in her hotel room. She arrives in Syracuse on the 25th at 11:30 p.m. Lucky Amy gets to pick her up that late!

Oh my gosh....dolphins work in teams to make bubble nets to catch their sardines. At least they just eat them and don't fling them around. Stupid whales.

Seriously?!?!

Addison got her own series? What the hell? I didn't really like her on Grey's Anatomy and now she has her own spin-off? Admittedly, I will probably watch it but that really is not the point now, is it?

Staff training has been going well this week, but I am over it. I maintain focus in the morning, but only because we are conducting interviews to fill a full-time position. Afternoons are a bit difficult because I can not focus. I am tired.

Martine is traveling today. She left Norway yesterday and should get in to New Jersey around 8:00 p.m. tonight. What a long day of travel. She will be in Syracuse Saturday night at 11:30 p.m. I am bummed I won't be able to oick her up, but she will be here when I get back!

I suppose it is time to go to work now. Yuck!

5 days!

That is how many days until I am in Mickey World. Today I managed to find batteries for my digital camera, which are becoming increasingly difficult to find. I also located my memory card so I should be all set in that area.

Mom is apparently nervous that I am going to forget our Disney paperwork. Please. As if I am going to forget all of that stuff. I was going to start packing tonight, but it did not happen. Maybe better luck tomorrow.

I have really missed Maggie the last few days. A lot of tears have passed these cheeks again. I don't know if it is because I am getting closer to having Bella or what, but it isn't fun. Amy showed me a couple of videos today on her cell phone of Mags. I can so remember her actions. One of them was her chasing a ball in the snow. The barking...the waiting....the tail. Just an amazing girl.

Training for staff went well today. We got a lot accomplished. Three more days.

Wow! It's been a long time since I've blogged!

Good morning! I am lounging in bed watching the "Today" show looking for Katie and Penny in the audience. Katie called early this morning to tell me she was in line and that I should watch. Lucky for her we actually got TV this week (AND wireless internet - which means I am using legal internet!). Anyway, I have not seen her yet, but I will keep watching!

The summer is winding down, which means that the craziness is starting to wind down, too. it is far from over, but at least some of the nuttiness is out of the way. Summer camp is over and all went well. We had about 45 kids each day for day camp at Sampson State Park.

Amy and I did some major work on Martine's bedroom this weekend. It is almost finished - just need to put something on the windows. I bought a miniblind today, and of course bought it too short so when you pull on the cord, the shade falls. I always do that. I don't think I have ever been able to buy shades that were actually the right size.

What else? Well....we are winding down the days to Disney! That is exciting. That also means we are winding down the days to Bella. THAT is exciting, too.

Have you read anything good lately? I HIGHLY recommend The Kite Runner as well as A Thousand Splendid Suns, both byKhaled Hosseini. His writing is gorgeous and haunting all at the same time. The stories are ones that stick with you a long time after reading. I just finished A Thousand Splendid Suns this weekend. Amazing.

More good news - Brian Acton is ALIVE. I talked with him the other day and he was on his way to be a cowboy for the weekend. We are all anxious for a report, Slick.

This week is staff development with my team, so I better hit the sack. I need to be on my toes. They have been off all summer, but I sure have not been!

Good night! Won't be so long next blog.

I am tired.

haven't gotten any recent updates on Bella, which concerns me since I emailed the breeder and asked. I may actually have to contact the breeder who actually has her for an update. The breeder I bought her from actually used her dog as a stud for the litter, so Bella is not actually at her kennel. I know the breeder was having knee surgery, so she may very well be in recovery, but as the time draws near I need to know what the plans are! Good lord.

So, just because my life is rarely dull or slow paced my housemate and I agreed to take a foreign exchange student for a year. I have my first meeting with the principal as a "mom" tomorrow morning. We are already not in good favor with him since we are springing the enrollment on him so quickly before school starts. It will all work out and things will be fine. Seneca Falls is a fantastic district and is a great place for a foreign student to come study. then again, I could be a little partial. Anyway...the student is 16 years old and is coming from Norway. Her name is Martine and she is a beautiful Scnadinavian looking young lady. She is a fan of Grey's Anatomy, which meant that I smply could not pass her up. it was a challenge to get the landlords to agree since they were going to raise the rent an extra $150/month since we would be having a third "rommate" (their words, not mine). I quickly set them straight that we absorb her costs of living and gain nothing financially from her being here. This is community service, essentially. Come on, people! I won. She is coming. We are not paying any extra rent.

Next week is summer camp and things have been absolutely beserk. We have about 57 kids signed up, which may not seem like a lot, but it is when you are the person in complete and total control for programming, transportation, food, etc. I am tired!

At the same time I am trying to hire to fill a full-time position and three part-time positions along with planning a week of staff development for my team. Argh.

Did I mention that I got my Disney tags in the mail today? :dance3: I did! I also have something else Disney related, but I have no idea what it is. Michelle told me, but I wasn't really listening due to my mind being splintered in 47 different directions these days. I am definitely ready for Disney at this point. I wish we could go tomorrow!

When you least expect it...

I heard Maggie bark tonight when I came home just now. I did. She knew the sound of my Jeep and knew when I was home. At the apartment in Auburn I had to park away from the building so she would not bark when I came home. But tonight I heard her.

She always had a whine before the actual bark. So the whine/bark came then always three more higher-pitched-than-normal barks followed. Always. It was always the same. Her "Mom is back" bark was different then any other bark.

I heard her as soon as I went around the side of the Jeep. My brain automatically went to "I am coming Maggie" and then the jolt of reality followed.

I've really been having a hard time again these last few days. I think about her on the couch with me and going in the Jeep and just being with me. I miss her so much and I expect I always will.

I knew I would miss her, but I have no idea of the magnitude of which I would do so.

My eternal love, gratitude, and awe for you my Miss Maggie Mae. My world is darker without you. I will never understand.

I need oxygen!

I am running out of air over here. Things are so busy right now that I don't know which was is up! We are on Disney countdown and I can't even get a place where I can get excited about it...yet. I know it will happen, it is just delayed.

The plans for summer camp are coming along, but I know I will be scrambling around to get the final details done next week. My coordinators come back on Monday and I need to have a plan for them. Just another week I need to plan. Add it to the list!

I am also working on our week of staff orientation and training, along with trying to hire a full-time coordinator and three part-time assistants. Ugh. The applicant pool will be small and my expectations are high, which could be a nasty little problem. It will all get done, I am just not entirely sure how at this point.

My nemesis is back to work this week and I have felt my creative energy just drain right out of the bottom of my feet. I don't know why she has this effect on me, but it makes me nuts. I need to come out of it, but she just annoys me SO FREAKIN' MUCH.

I got my financial aid letter for the University of Rochester today. The good news is that I will have enough money to handle classes in the fall. The bad news is that almost $4,500 of it is in a parent loan. Pony up Mom and Dad! :) The even better news is that I will have enough to not have to rely on the parent loan, which is good considering Mom said to me "Aren't you a little old for a parent loan?" I guess I got her answer on the spot.

I am currently registered for three classes, but am fairly certain I will need to drop back to two. I really would like to double up on a night since I would be there anyway, but we will have to see how that all works out. The academic policies are pretty strict and I need to make sure I don't overdo it initially. If I had my choice I would just quit work and go back to school full-time anyway. For some reason I think that will pretty much never happen.

Okay, I am going to get back to some work. Brian Acton. If you are still kickin' call me, would ya? I've been trying to get in touch with you and have had no luck. Are we breaking up again?!?!

Ouch!

As we were settling into the Party Lite party last night, I got a call from my sister saying that she was on her way home to take Andrew to the emergency room because he was hurt at basketball camp. Apparently his face was pretty swollen and looked displaced and broken...the cheekbone, that is. So, off the went to Children's Hospital again for the manyith time in the last month (remember Grace's burn?). I talked to Andrew on the way to the hospital and asked him how his cheek was. He said it was fine, but that wasn't what he wanted to talk about. Okay then...

He went on to tell me that he had run six miles yesterday and took 12 minutes off his mile, along with running a five minute mile. Holy cow. If you know Andrew, you know he is built like a gazelle (did not get our genetics, apparently) and is tall and long. His ears would make the most drag on his entire body. He was pretty excited and said that he knew one thing: that he would never stop exercising again because it hurt too much to get started again. Yeah. No kidding.

Anyway, later last night I got the call from Michelle that he was okay. No breaks. No concussions. No fractures. Just a nasty bruise in the "fatty" part of his face that is rich in blood vessels. Because of all of the blood vessels, it is where the blood pooled and made it swell and bruise. It is going to get uglier before it gets better, but he should be fine. I asked him if the kid apologized and Andre said that he and his father were both very apologetic. It happened during a scrimmage and was a total accident.

In terms of Grace, her arm is healing well. The bandages are off and she now needs to keep a regular supply of lotion and sunscreen on it even if she goes outside for twenty seconds. They are saying that as long as they follow the rules, her arm will be only left with a faint scar. That's good news, too.

On this end, things with attempting to sell the house are MADDENING. It is so frustrating. At this point I don't particularly care of the damn thing sells or not. The woman (buyer) is a serious pain in the ass. Keep your fingers crossed that it sells, though.

I made it to the gym and got in a 5K on the treadmill this morning. Apparently the morning at the college is old folks time, since I was the youngest person there by like 40-50 years. I'm not kidding. Anyway, it made me look faster on the treadmill and I kind of liked that. Zoom zoom.

Okay....off to get a little work done. Not much, but at least a little.

What a creative week.

I have actually gotten much done this week....remarkably. I'm not sure what's wrong with me.

Work has been decent, perhaps because my nemesis is out of the office. I'll take it. I have gotten much accomplished, but have so much more to do before August rolls around. Yeah. I know. August is NEXT week...my nephew also turns 13 next week. Get out of here!

Anyway....I am getting a wrap on planning for our week of staff development in August. Came up with a decent idea to take the team to the Corning Glass Museum as a culminating event to make glass flowers or something along those lines.

Home is getting settled. We have officially finished the living room! Hallelujah! Curtains are hung (Okay valances). Trim has been painted and furniture has been moved backed to place. Best of all, the bird poop has been cleaned off the wall. It feels clean. A nice light blue with a creamy trim. Ahhhhh. As for the upstairs bathroom....wellll.......that's another story. Some day it will be complete, but for now we need a little break.

We are hosting our first gathering at the house tonight. One of my former assistant coordinators sells Party Lite and so we are hosting a show. I have no idea how many people will show up, considering I really don't know many people here and typically when I do have a party Katie and Cristin show up...rarely anyone else. Oh...and of course Eugene. If you see something online on the site, let me know and I can order it for you! We are going to need the sales.

So let's talk about the Chiropractic College for a moment. HOLY EYE CANDY, Batman. The ratio of males to females must be in favor of the females because I have seen very little of the X chromosome compared to the Y. That's all I have to say about that.

Work time. Hasta la bang bang.

I am tired...and it's only Tuesday.

The last few days have been busy (which seems to be the theme these days).

This past Friday I went to the University of Rochester to check on financial aid. My department had not forwarded my information to financial aid, so there was nothing on file for me. The counselor who deals with graduate financial aid was on vacation, but was to return yesterday. Hopefully, she will have something worked out soon so I can figure out just how much money I need to make fly out of certain areas of my body.

When I got home Saturday morning, I was in the bathroom and thought it would be a good idea to start stripping the wallpaper in the upstairs bathroom. This was a definite "What was I thinking?" moment. I had no idea it would be so much work. I really worked on it all day Saturday and most of the day Sunday with some help and it still isn't done. Amy was working on it yesterday and we are closer, but still a bit to go. The people who wallpapered did it before any of the fixtures were in, so it is next to impossible to get clean edges around the sink, etc. We are hoping to have it done before the end of the week, though.

Last night after work I went to the New York State Chiropractic College where I joined the fitness center. Let me just tell ya....it ain't the Y. I will miss the Auburn YMCA, but that might be all I miss from Auburn (expect Maggie). I ran two miles and then did ten minutes on the elliptical. From there I went home, had a bowl of chicken noodle soup and a PBJ and then started peeling the rest of the wallpaper border in the living room. By the way, we did not take any pictures before we started any of this work, but trust me...we are making big differences.

When Amy got home she wanted to know what she could do to help. She can't be on the ladder, so she decided to get out the paint and start low. We were only going to do one wall. At 11:00 last night we had finished the entire living room in Martha Stewart Porcelain Doorknob blue. It is a light blue and very pretty, but we probably should have done something a little darker. I guess we will have to see how it cures.

So, today here I am at work. I ate a great lunch and then ruined it with some ice cream and caramel sauce. It is my weakness. Actually they are my weakness - ice cream AND caramel sauce. Yum. Don't worry. I brought my stuff to hit the gym after work and I have a feeling I am going to need it. We have a big meeting today with one of our schools that is having problems adapting to the structure of the after school program. I don't want to be involved in the meeting.

Okay....I guess that's it for now. There is tons more happening and I am incredibly stressed out, but I will post that after it is all over...let's hope it is all over soon.

Thank God it's Friday!!

So here it is Friday morning and I am sitting on my couch in the living room. Life is good. This morning has been good. I got up, started some laundry (which I can wash here, but have to take it to the laundromat to dry), WENT FOR A RUN (did you catch that?), and am now crashing with a bowl of Kashi watching Coyote Ugly. I think I am going to like it here.

We have scheduled the summer so that we have almost every other Friday off, which has been great. It feels like I haven't actually been to work in forever, though. It all started with the five days of Schools Attuned training, then the week of moving, then the trip to Cornell....now I am home and trying to decide what to do for the weekend. It is the Balloon Rally in Wellsville and I need to decide if I am going down or not. I should probably go down and try to start clearing some things out of the attic.

I am going to the University of Rochester today to try to sort out financial aid options. Let's hope I have some. Something's got to give, right? I know it will be loans, but so be it. If I don't go now I never will.


And so now, meet BELLA! She is the little black one on top. She is now three weeks old. Just a few more to go! I am sure Maggie would approve. I would still rather have Mags, but since it is pretty obvious she is not physically coming back...
Can you even stand those little faces? Too much. I don't have a registered name for Bella Bean yet, but I am sure something will come along.

Okay. Off to the laundromat! Have a great weekend.

Well....

It's been a long time since I've slept in a dorm. Long enough that I managed to lock myself out of my room last night without shoes and in my pajamas. The nice girl from the campus center came and let me in. Thank you nice campus center girl!

It was a beautiful day to be up at the ropes course. Unfortunately, I am not feeling 100% and was a mere spectator this time around. They have a high element that is a mock bell tower that has a very long zipline. You shove off the platform at the top of the tower and zoom down the line. I wish that I would have done that.

Sadly, the food here at Cornell is still as good as I remember it to be. That means that I am eating too much. That also means that once I get back to Seneca Falls I am done messing around and getting back on the running track. I know I've said it before, but I am really feeling miserable.

By the way...if you are trying to reach me on my Cingular phone (last four digits 7706), there seems to be some issue here at Cornell that reception is very spotty. If you need to reach me, please use the 6820 number until Wednesday afternoon.

Okay, heading back to session. Good night!

The weekend has gone by far too quickly. Friday brought Amy moving in and all of the mess of boxes all over again. Yuck. It is pretty settled at this point, but we still have some definite details to get to. it will be fine, I am sure.

Friday evening I went to dinner with my friend Susan, her son Emre (13), her son Eren (20), her step-son Cori (pronounced Core-Eye, 33), and her step daughter Chidem (pronounced as it sounds....kind of like "cheat em", 28) at a great Italian restaurant in Seneca Falls called Henry B's. I am sure that I ate too much, and the situation was interesting given the family dynamics of the group. Susan lived in Turkey for 15 years and her son Eren (along with Cori and Chidem) all still live there.

Saturday morning I woke early and headed to Wellsville for a haircut, a visit with the realtor, and a concert at the Wellsville Creative Arts Center. I got a great haircut (as usual) and will continue to travel back to have it done there.

The house is (tentatively) sold. I signed the contract Saturday afternoon and am now just waiting for everything to go through. I am torn about the situation - glad that I won't have the responsibility of it anymore, but sad because of what I invested in the house, which was mostly emotional. I am fairly certain at this point that it is unlikely I will ever return to Wellsville to live, so it makes sense to let it go. Seriously....I could never live there without Maggie anyway. I wouldn't want to. I also made a stop to see Jeff and Linda and the kids. They are doing well and are busy, as usual.

The Buddahood played at the Creative Arts Center and we had a great time. They are incredibly eclectic and had a variety of sounds, styles, and rhythms all in one song. Good times.

I headed back to Seneca Falls early this morning. Amy and I managed to change our own lock, since uor landlord has not been responsive to fixing it. We would have to stand at the back door and fiddle with the key for sometimes near ten minutes to get it to work. We are sharing one key since copies do not work. It has been a nightmare. Today, we made the nightmare go away and fixed the lock our own damn selves.

I had to get packed since we are spending four days at Cornell University for an ACT for Youth leadership conference. Tomorrow we are on the high ropes course and that doesn't thrill me. Our facilitators over the next three days are representatives from Free the Children . I have high hopes the progam will be awesome, since I am not so thrilled about being away....again.

Next weekend is Balloon Rally and I am still deciding on whether I will head back to Wellsville or not. I guess part of it could depend on what is happening with the houses, both in Seneca Falls and in Wellsville. Amy is away next weekend, too, so it may be nice just to stay home and veg. I guess we will see.

Michelle is over the top in Disney planning. She has already posted her packing list on the Disney Message Board (including 12 pairs of underwear). Crazy. I am getting more exicted, but I feel like I have so many things to get through before I can even think about going. My brain is constantly running at warp speed and I am just tired.

I will check in tomorrow night after the high ropes course and a day of training.

Has it really been that long?

I can't believe my last blog was on July 5. How has time gone by so quickly? I guess that I have just been super busy...

I am all done with moving, but am still working on settling in. Most of my stuff is put away and when I get a new battery for my camera I will take pictures. I am so happy there, but am getting used to not having a roommate which will all change on Friday. if you need/want my new address email me and I will be sure to send it along. I don't want to post here because I really don't want strange people showing up on my doorstep.

In the seemingly never ending saga of the puppy hunt, I have officially sent a deposit. I was going to go with Snowcrest Labs, but called the other day to see if the breeding had taken and she still wasn't sure. I kept looking around and things fell into place. I will be going with Windswept Kennels

This is my new girl's dad, Mr. B. How much do you want to squish his face? His mom says he has a fantastic disposition and has been springing really great puppies.
The other really awesome part to this whole thing is that the puppy is in Wilkes-Barre and will be ready to come home the last week of August. That is perfect since mom and I are flying in and out of Wilkes-Barre for our trip to Disney World the last week in August. How wacky is that? I get to come home from Disney and bring a puppy home!!!! I will regret it for the first few months, but am so excited. Here are some of Mr. B's pups....I think that I have a name all picked out, but I am hesitant to say because Maggie's changed so many times. In any case, the new pup will be a black girl.

I am in negotiations in an offer on my house in Wellsville. The first offer that came in was incredibly low and I didn't even bother counter offering. The offer came up by $5000, but still was low. I countered and am waiting to hear where things are at. That was Monday, so I hope to hear something today. I will keep you posted. Keep your fingers crossed that something can be worked out.

Okay....I think that is all that has been happening? God only knows. Time is speeding by at a ridiculous rate of speed these days.

Almost done...

I am almost done with moving. All of the big stuff came yesterday in the back of a pick-up truck in the rain. It did not get soaked, but just a little damp. It is pretty much dry this morning. I did sleep at the house last night in a sleeping bag on my mattress on the floor. My shins are all bruised and pretty much every muscle on my body hurts to touch. My hands and arms (and apparently my elbow) are covered in oil based primer from painting my room. My hands hurt. Have I whined enough yet? I am just tired.

I do still have some things that I need to finish up with in Auburn tomorrow - like the cats. They are still at the apartment and I do need to go and get them at some point. Nala is all kinds of freaked out and is hiding from the world. Scout showed me his annoyance by pooping in the tub. All in a day in the life of cats. Crazy.

So, this morning when I got ready for work I realized that I am not in possession of my make-up, hair dryer, or deodorant at this point. I am sure the cats are having a great time using them at the apartment. I am a mess.

Moving....FINALLY.

I finally have my Jeep loaded with the first load to go to the new house. The apartment is WAY easier to pack than the house was last summer (as you can imagine). I am definitely using the Katie method of moving, which means that if I haven't touched it, worn it, eaten it, or used it within the last year it is going away. I don't care where it is going, it is just going. I also rediscovered my birth certificate this morning, which was a welcome surprise.

Okay. I just stopped in quick to check email and get a drink - since all of my glasses are packed.

Let's hope this move goes smoothly and quickly! Can you just imagine how happy the cats are going to be?

Alive and well.

This may be the longest break in my blog since I've started it. It was a busy week being out of the office all last week for a Schools Attuned training with Katie, Penny, and my staff. A fantastic training, but I did not come in the office for more than maybe ten seconds.

The weekend was a blur. Definitely drank too much Friday night and paid for it Saturday morning...twice. Lesson learned for quite some time, I am afraid.

I should have moved yesterday since the lease at the new house started then. The landlords are up, though, and are staying in the house. Yesterday was so beautiful and would have been perfect to have gotten it done. I now have NO idea when/how I will move and who can/will help. I am going to try to get some major packing done tonight so that I can start hauling stuff to the house. My apartment manager called me today and asked what the scoop was. I really just want to get it done!

Perhaps my most newsworthy note would be that I did something very impulsive and a bit crazy...okay, it really was not all that impulsive since I've wanted to do it for years. Literally. Last Tuesday night Katie finally got tired of hearing me talk about it and dragged me to the tattoo/piercing place to get...my nose pierced. Did it hurt? HELL YES. For the first day it was hell because it would not stay adjusted. Now that it is really starting to heal it is staying put and I really do like it. After three months or so I do plan to put something even smaller there. Currently, it is a small cubic zirconium. It really is not noticeable across the room. Mom and Dad were both okay with it, and that was what meant the most to me. My boss can't really look me in the eye, but I don't particularly care.

I register for fall classes today! I am having a bit of a problem getting that done since I need a permission code for the first class. That should be pending, though, since my adviser recommend that I take it.

That's about it for now!

Puppy!!

I am so excited to announce that I have officially settled on a breeder. I have been lucky enough to have found a local breeder right in Seneca Falls who has two upcoming litters. I love the idea that they are a small kennel and are local, which in my mind means I can go visit puppies more often than I would be able to with a breeder who wasn't quite so close!

Before we went to the vet's, Maggie and I talked about another puppy. I know it is what she would want me to do and I am at a point where I don't feel like it is disrespectful to her to get another. The new baby will be fantastic if she has half the personality, a quarter of the beauty, and an eighth of the heart that Magpie did.

Puppy breath. Puppy teeth. Puppy pee. Oh my!

You can see Snowcrest Labradors here. Fingers are crossed for Cami to be pregnant, but the breeder won't know for another couple of weeks, since Cami's backseat date was very recent. Cami's litter will be a mix of black and yellow. They are also waiting for Holly to come into season and she will have an all yellow litter.

They are very thorough in their clearances and health checks. She has been breeding for 13 years (my lucky number) and has had very healthy dogs.

Anyway...just wanted to share! Looks like a new round of fur, mud, and chewed items will happen in the fall.

It has been raining a lot the last few days. The other night we had a fantastic thunder storm. I opened my apartments windows wide and enjoyed the sound of the rain falling. It is such a tranquil feeling. I have always loved the rain and the effect it has on me. I remember running with my friend Shanny through the storm ditches during and after a good rain. The water was deep and the mud was oozy. Just the way I like it.

So what does the rain have to do with anything? I can't help but to think of Maggie when it rains. She didn't like to be out in it, which is so strange to me because she could have swam all day long. When it was raining, though, we ran out, she did her thing and we came right back in. I used to stand under the awning hoping that she would go on her own, which she never did. She would stand and watch me until I relented to those amazing eyes and stood out in the rain with her. That's the way it was. If I did something, so did she she. If she had to stand out in the rain, so did I.

The rain has a new meaning to me now, though. When it rains I can't help but to think of her garden and how she is going to help it grow and make it beautiful. She made my life so meaningful and colorful and now she will continue to do that from the ground up. She will literally be a part of making something living thrive - againg. I don't know what the rains have been like in Pennsylvania, but they have been mostly gentle here. It just seems fitting that the rains are being kind and gentle to her.

When she was little she would climb in the shower with me. It wasn't every day, but it was always a welcome surprise. Sometimes she would just stand in the back of the tub, but when she was really small she would march right up under the sprinkle. When she started doing this she was so little she couldn't get herself in the tub. I had to pick up her fanny and haul her over the side. I am convinced that it wasn't the shower she liked, but the towel and the rubbing that came after.

After she swam or had been in any kind of water we always had to have a good towel down. She would see towel and her body would automatically go into happiness overdrive. I would rub it down over her back and she would lean. You know the lean - all of her weight against your legs, usually resulting in her sitting on your foot from being so happy and relaxed.

Yeah. I miss her. I know that people will get tired of reading about her and listening to me remember her (and mourn her), but it has been days since I have cried and now here I sit with tears running down my cheeks.

There are just so many things on my mind today. I am remembering packing up my classroom in Wellsville last year and having no idea where I was going or what I was doing, but I knew that I had Maggie, and Scout, and Nala...and at that time, Meadow, too. I feel such a profound sense of loss for so many things. My job, my house, Meadow, seeing my friends, and most importantly Maggie. So many things have changed and I often wonder how I keep up with them. I guess the answer is that I just have no choice. Even when My Maggie is gone, I am not. My world keeps turning and I keep breathing. It hurts sometimes, but I keep doing it.

Last night was a beautiful night for running. I didn't go out until somewhere around 8:45 or so. It was dusky, but not yet dark and the temperature was perfect. I was thrilled to be able to wear my running capris, which are just better than shorts any day of the week. I had some time to do some thinking and actually had a decent run. I am working os hard to get things back on track and start taking care of myself again. I have to. I have no choice.

I am getting ready to go into a management team meeting this morning and I don't know if I am done crying or not. Maybe I won't have to talk. That would be fantastic.

The Great Chipmunk Incident!

What a weekend. Let me just say that first off. I am drained. Running on little sleep, but lots of fun and that seems to matter in the summer.

Friday afternoon was a visit to the massage therapist for a craniosacral massage (much needed). Knowing that I had lost Maggie, she spent a little extra time on the heart chakra, which she did not do on my last visit.

Friday night was a night out with the girls. Down to Curly's for a couple of drinks and home by 12:15ish. I had had enough to drink to have a headache in the morning.

Saturday brought a youth training day here at the United Way office. We finished up around 2:00 and I headed to Wellsville.

I went to a birthday party for a friend who turned 40. There was a bon fire and live "music," but it was great to be outside and hang with Cristin for a while.

I stayed the night at Erica's and when I got up Sunday morning, I came downstairs and she was on the phone with her daughter while rearranging furniture. I wasn't really sure what was happening until she told me that a chipmunk had run into the house while she was rearranging recycling bins on the porch. The door was still wide open and she was setting up furniture to make a chute to get little chippy out. She told me it was in the bathroom, so I stood on the bottom stair as I swung around looking for the little bugger. I didn't know if chipmunks bit, so I was sure to put on my oh-so-protective flip-flops. Surely they would save me.

So, I wandered incredibly cautiously into the bathroom looking for Erica's new roommate. As I was standing talking to her, I saw it scurry across the floor and hide behind the trash can. I wasn't really sure where it went since it looked like a little sock shoved in the corner. In any case I screamed like a little girl and he eventually came running out into the living room into the "chute" where Erica was ready with the broom. Chipmunks are little and apparently they don't play by the rules.

He saw his opening and took it. Darting under the recliner, he shot like a rocket across the living room floor under the sofa. Great! So, here we are sliding one end of the sofa forward then the other only to not have the chipmunk come out. We secure the perimeter, closing all of the doors are blockading the openings (because it worked so well the first time). Eventually, we flushed him and he weaved across the room like a drunken sailor looking for the right ship. Zig zagging, he is trying to find an escape, I am shrieking, and Erica is cracking up encouraging him to run to freedom. Eventually, he did make it to the door and that was the end of the great chipmunk incident. They are not easy to shoo out, let me just tell you.

So, I did it. I ran last night. No kidding. It wasn't fast. It wasn't quick. It wasn't long, but I did it. It was also hotter than HELL. Sweat pouring off me, I trudged my old short route and made it through. The goal is to string a few of those nights together to build back up again. It did feel good. I admit it.

Today is a month without Maggie. Last night was difficult. Every whimper the cats heard from me, one of them came running which was sweet. This morning Scout gave the strangest meows. Just sorrowful, heartbreaking meows. Do I think that he knows it is a month? No. But I know he misses his bud. They were thick as thieves. As I was getting out of the shower this morning he was sitting in front of the tub meowing at me. I said "Do you miss Maggie?" and his meow was indescribable. I've never heard him made such a sad noise.

It seems like forever and yesterday all at the same time. I love you to bits Magpie.

We did well!

I am happy to report that our presentation in Albany went very well. The topic was engaging youth in shared decision-making in organizations and schools (like school boards, board of directors, etc). We had about 35 people, which is FAR more than we had expected. We had a great time slot, which really helped. First session of the morning had a lot of attendees. Sessions after lunch and in the evening are the kiss of death. Our evaluations were overwhelmingly positive, mostly being rated excellent, with two fair. There was nothing that we were evaluated on as poor. Overall, very happy with how things went.

Tomorrow is a shortened day, which ends at 2:30. We will be heading home after that and I am going to run tomorrow. I promise. Look for the report tomorrow evening.

I am deep into the book "The Kite Runner." It is a beautifully written, enthralling book. I still have many many pages to read, but I can't get to the end quick enough. That is the sign of a really good book. It has been a long time since I have found something so engaging. I am enjoying the brain candy now since I will be reading textbooks in the fall!

I have meant to direct you to the website about Garth's run across Pennsylvania. Garth is from Canton PA and this is his senior project. He is running across Pennsylvania (426 miles) to raise money for a new track in Canton. Please check out his site and make a donation if possible.

Okay....off to read and then to bed.

Look for the running report tomorrow! It won't be long, it won't be fast, but at least it will be here!

Resuming the weekend report...

I am currently in Albany attending the 21st Century Community Learning Center conference that we have to attend twice a year. One is in Albany, the other in Brooklyn. Susan and I are presenting tomorrow and need to work on nailing down the rest of the details. Full report tomorrow night. The awesome thing is that Katie, Penny, and Tim are here and is is great to see them again. It makes me feel not so disconnected from my life.

Part of the reason that I have not been blogging as much is because I have not been running and I have not been taking my laptop home with me, which is when I blogged when I was really keeping up with life. I honestly don't know what I am doing with my time, but I have a feeling that I am overdoing it in terms of work hours. I need to get back on track and start living my life and taking care of myself again. I am still very sad, but I can't continue to not do things to take care of me. I am going to make it a point to really start doing so. As soon as I get back from Albany...

Okay, so I think that I got to the point of saying that I saw Katie and Cristin and the kids over the weekend. Good fun.

Saturday was Cale's graduation party. I can guarantee that when there is a party at Aunt Alicia's, it is going to be a good time. Cale's Band (Flatt Broke) played and we had a ball. Cale is one hell of a drummer and is so happy when he is playing.

Aunt Janet once again became the Statue of Liberty and at the top of our lungs we sang the National Anthem in the garage. Such touching moments.

It is hard to believe that the four boys are grown and graduated. I don't feel old, but I sure do feel like they are catching up with me.

Mom and I spent some nice time together Sunday morning planting Maggie's garden. I bought some Bleeding Hearts, Love Pat hostas, and some other lower bright green hostas to plant at Maggie's spot. I can't seem to bring myself to calling it a "grave." A "grave" implies that she is gone and maybe I need to come to the full realization that she is gone, but I know that her spirit and energy are still here. So, for now I am going to call it her "spot." Mom cleared a nice sized area and we debated on how to layout the plants. We agreed to a nice layout that should fill in over time. I will add a St. Francis of Assissi statue to the garden once I find one that I like. I hope that I can take it to Mt. Iraneus to have it blessed before I take it to Maggie.

I was doing okay with being in that place and doing what I was doing for the reason that I was doing it, but towards the end of planting that overwhelming feeling of emptiness returned. My heart just feels hollow and I have this energy that I don't know what to do with. I know that energy is anger - anger that I couldn't save her, anger that she is gone, anger that people mistreat their dogs and have them live forever...anger for everyone under the sun thinking they can be breeders, resulting in thinning out the bloodlines and genetics of America's most popular dog. Just anger....that I am alone.

I am not crying as much now, but there are times that I just can't help it. The things that trigger me are strange. My heart ached the other day when I saw a woman walking her dog, stopped at a corner. The dog automatically sat when they waited to cross. It so reminded me of Maggie and how she used to do exactly that. I miss walking her. I miss the routine of her. I miss the unconditional love of her. I just miss her.

I know at some point my sadness and grief will become irritating to people around me and I am trying to not talk about it quite so much, but to not talk about her is to not talk about one of my major sources of joy over the last four years. I don't know how long it will take my heart to heal or my mind to realize that she isn't going to be there when I get home. I still find myself waiting for the two high pitched barks that she would give when she heard me close the Jeep door. She always knew when I was home. I miss the familiarity.

I am going to be okay and I am going to get myself back on track. I have to. I haven't felt well and traveling so much over the last few weeks has really taken a toll on me. There have been may day trips to conferences and meetings, along with overnights. July isn't much better and August is going to be a nightmare until Disney rolls around.

For now, that is all. I will report tomorrow on how the presentation goes. I will also try to be better at keeping up with the blog.

P.S. I decided on my way to work this morning that I would like to take a shot at writing a children's book.

What a crazy weird weekend.

So Friday came and how stoked was I to make it to get my hair did in Wellsville? I know that I am neurotic and there are stylists in Auburn, Seneca Falls, blah blah blah, but I am pretty sure I would fly in from California to go to Jaime. She always makes me look fab. I love that I sit in her chair and tell her to have at it. I don't have to hold her hand the entire time like I do with so many other people. Yuck.

Friday night I was with Erica at her gram's. Her grandmother just turned 85 on Friday! Unbelievable. We had a very nice visit. Her family was in from a variety of places and get this - her cousin is the personal assistant to Queen Rania, Queen of Jordan. Have you ever seen Queen Rania? Gorgeous. Disgustingly beautiful. I stayed at Erica's and headed to Cuba in the morning to see my other girls and their babes.

I met Cristin and Katie at Katie's house along with Emma, Emily, and Amelia. They are growing like little weeds. Emma has a huge amount of teeth. Amelia's are coming in slightly slower.


More later....I have to go to work. ARGH!

Ouch!

Mom called this morning on my way to work to tell me that Jeff was in the emergency room passing a (what they think is) kidney stone. OUCH. I can't imagine that feels so great. Here's hoping that baby is born soon. I told mom that I have a whole bag of special kidney disease dog food from Mags if he needs it. It's a little bland, but he doesn't really have an adventurous taste for food, anyway.

She also told me that my aunt is taking Ty to the doctor today for a concerning reason. I won't post what it is for the sake of confidentiality and not having all of the details. In any case, keep your fingers crossed and your prayers flying that everything turns out fine on that one, too.

Yesterday afternoon was our afterschool program end of the year picnic. It was a lot of fun, but I am glad that it is over. We had about 140 kids and I found yesterday at about 12:30 or so that the swimming pool was not open. WHAT?!?!? So, off to Wal-Mart to come up with some really quick activities to pass the time. We did have a moonwalk, velcro wall, and the big sumo wrestling suits already planned. I also added finger painting, car sponges, and buckets. The sponges were a big hit and we were the bucket brigade most of the afternoon. 12 sheet pizzas later, the kids and staff went home happy. I think.

Got a situation...need to run.

Positive Youth Development?

Is it something someone can learn? All of the experts come and teach about what it takes to be a good positive youth developer. Some of the components include authenticity and an irrational dedication to young people. Is it possible to learn to be authentic, especially if you don't like someone? Let's face it. There are a lot of adults who work with youth who don't really like young people. You can see it in their faces, their actions, their voices. I have just been overtraining in the area of "positive youth development" lately and it feels like the choir is tired of being preached to. I like to think (and actually believe) that I am pretty strong in the area of positive youth development. I think I "get" it. I am boycotting positive youth development trainings for a month. Maybe more, depending on how I feel after a month is up.

I ran today. It hurt, but I did it. It is crappy to think that I was running upwards of six miles on a regular basis and tonight made it for only 20 minutes and not even two miles. It always takes a while to come back to running and since I haven't really been running regularly since May 10 (according to my Nike+ site) I guess I have to take what I can get. I did follow it up with 30 minutes on the elliptical trainer, so I guess I didn't do all that poorly.

Big news from Chicago last night. Miss Princess lost her first tooth. You can click here to see her new smile, along with her new haircut. She apparently lost it eating Skittles, which is a fabulous way to lose your first tooth! Way to go, Miss Grace.

Other than that, not a ton happening. I am hoping to sleep better tonight than I did last night. I have a TON to get done at work the next few days, so I need to be super duper productive. More soon, I think...