Birthday girl

So here it is. My 33rd birthday. I was so excited to turn 33 because it was a nice symmetrical, aesthetically pleasing number. Now it's here and I don't like it all that much.

I have realized that life is not really passing me by, but maybe I am passing it by? I am so busy, so focused on my education and continuing to grow my brain that somewhere along the way I forgot to have a family. I am not saying that I regret doing that, but at the same time I do wonder where my life is going...what I will be doing. I have Belle and Scout and Nala, but I really enjoy having Martine around (at least today I do) and spending time with someone who is temporarily my "daughter." I have really questioned whether I wanted children and I think that I do. I am certainly in absolutely no hurry, but I think that I would be at least a decent mom and I really enjoy that connection.

I got up later than I usually do this morning and realized that no one was upstairs. Martine had requested to go to school early this morning so I wondered where she was. I made my way downstairs to let Belle out and noticed that the kitchen door was closed and Belle was not in her crate. That was a little weird. I opened the door and Belle nearly bowled me over (it is good to be loved!), while Martine was standing at the counter pulling apart bacon and Amy was making eggs and has browns.

Martine had actually asked Amy if she could make breakfast for me for my birthday. I would have been very happy with Cream of Wheat (there's some nostalgia that goes along with that) and Amy said that she had suggested that but Martine wanted to make eggs, hasbrowns, bacon, and toast because it is what she makes her parents for their birthdays each year. I was incredibly touched by this gesture and will always be grateful to Amy for helping Martine to accomplish this.

Tonight we are off to dinner at the Dinosaur BBQ in Rochester and will probably follow that up with ice cream from Maggie Moos for dessert.

Speaking of Maggie Moo, she was in my dream last night along with my Mom Mom. I think I was having a hard time with having "seen" both of them last night and should feel reassured they are still with me, but I miss each of them every day. I know how proud my grandmother would be for who I have become and what I have done with myself. She was such a positive force in my life for helping me to believe I could do it and to hold those expectations high.

Thank you for always. Here's to another year behind me and many more ahead!