Out of the blue...

Sometimes it just comes right out of the blue and the *whap* tears are streaming down my face and I am remembering my incredible girl Maggie (Happy Valley Maggie M'eh?). It was four years ago this week that I had to let her go. Four years ago that she was so sick and so tired and so amazing.

Maggie was my first dog on my own. My mom told me not to get a dog, but I am a strong, willed independent kind of girl and I wanted one. My landlords said yes and it was game on. The weekend before Maggie came to be mine, I was in Canada with my (now ex) boyfriend, Brian. Brian and I had gone to a dog show and it just happened to be showing the sporting breeds, specifically golden retrievers. I love goldens, but we had always had labs and I loved them, too.

The next Monday I asked Brian which he preferred, a lab or a golden. Brian said he wanted a golden; we got a lab. I looked in the newspaper to see what was available (I was young, naive, and didn't really understand the consequences of backyard breeding at that time). I called a number and was set to go see two female chocolates that afternoon. When I went into the house I was greeted by two, small, furry, beautiful chocolate girls. One was small and shy, the other robust and outgoing. Immediately, the larger of the two latched onto my shoe laces and started tugging. I decided at that moment I didn't want that one. I kept trying to push her away to bond with the smaller, more docile pup. It didn't work. The big one kept coming to me and eventually she was riding home on my lap across country roads.

Maggie went through many name changes prior to settling on "Maggie." She was Mocha, Godiva, Daisy and god only knows what else. I didn't want to name her Maggie, but it's what stuck. She was the perfect Maggie.

Mags loved almost everyone she came in contact with, but like most labs she was a great judge of character. She steered clear of questionable people, but freely loved those she trusted. Maggie loved me, but would have left me in a second. She was secure in herself and would wander far away sometimes as I hid behind a tree trying to teach her a lesson. She always came back, but I wasn't always sure that she would.

I loved her so much and was heartbroken when I found out she was suffering from kidney failure. She was just four and a half when I had to make the decisions to let her go. She went so gracefully and calmly, partly because she just felt so miserable, but mostly because it was just who she was.

Maggie rests on my grandparents hill and is overlooked by a St. Francis statue. Each time I visit my grandparents I can see the statue from the dining room table. I've often thought it might be time to bring the statue home with me, but I just can't bring myself to do it. It belongs to Maggie and it's where it needs to stay.

Today, I have Belle who is an amazing and loyal girl. She is so different from Mags in almost every way. She's shorter and wider and she doesn't retrieve. She is so loyal to me and sticks close to my side. My dad thinks she would go with anyone, but I beg to differ. She doesn't let me out of her sight. I love her so so much and look forward to nice long, healthy partnership with her.

There is just no love like that from a labrador.

God speed, Mags.