Out of the blue...

Sometimes it just comes right out of the blue and the *whap* tears are streaming down my face and I am remembering my incredible girl Maggie (Happy Valley Maggie M'eh?). It was four years ago this week that I had to let her go. Four years ago that she was so sick and so tired and so amazing.

Maggie was my first dog on my own. My mom told me not to get a dog, but I am a strong, willed independent kind of girl and I wanted one. My landlords said yes and it was game on. The weekend before Maggie came to be mine, I was in Canada with my (now ex) boyfriend, Brian. Brian and I had gone to a dog show and it just happened to be showing the sporting breeds, specifically golden retrievers. I love goldens, but we had always had labs and I loved them, too.

The next Monday I asked Brian which he preferred, a lab or a golden. Brian said he wanted a golden; we got a lab. I looked in the newspaper to see what was available (I was young, naive, and didn't really understand the consequences of backyard breeding at that time). I called a number and was set to go see two female chocolates that afternoon. When I went into the house I was greeted by two, small, furry, beautiful chocolate girls. One was small and shy, the other robust and outgoing. Immediately, the larger of the two latched onto my shoe laces and started tugging. I decided at that moment I didn't want that one. I kept trying to push her away to bond with the smaller, more docile pup. It didn't work. The big one kept coming to me and eventually she was riding home on my lap across country roads.

Maggie went through many name changes prior to settling on "Maggie." She was Mocha, Godiva, Daisy and god only knows what else. I didn't want to name her Maggie, but it's what stuck. She was the perfect Maggie.

Mags loved almost everyone she came in contact with, but like most labs she was a great judge of character. She steered clear of questionable people, but freely loved those she trusted. Maggie loved me, but would have left me in a second. She was secure in herself and would wander far away sometimes as I hid behind a tree trying to teach her a lesson. She always came back, but I wasn't always sure that she would.

I loved her so much and was heartbroken when I found out she was suffering from kidney failure. She was just four and a half when I had to make the decisions to let her go. She went so gracefully and calmly, partly because she just felt so miserable, but mostly because it was just who she was.

Maggie rests on my grandparents hill and is overlooked by a St. Francis statue. Each time I visit my grandparents I can see the statue from the dining room table. I've often thought it might be time to bring the statue home with me, but I just can't bring myself to do it. It belongs to Maggie and it's where it needs to stay.

Today, I have Belle who is an amazing and loyal girl. She is so different from Mags in almost every way. She's shorter and wider and she doesn't retrieve. She is so loyal to me and sticks close to my side. My dad thinks she would go with anyone, but I beg to differ. She doesn't let me out of her sight. I love her so so much and look forward to nice long, healthy partnership with her.

There is just no love like that from a labrador.

God speed, Mags.

A new name and a new look.

This weekend just flew by. I'm glad I have tomorrow to recoup! (I know.... I know.... Get a job.)

The weather has been simply miserable. The grass is wet and the mud is soggy; both are conditions Belle loves. We've not been to the park in a week because I know the river will be swift and dirty. Every inch of her will be covered in mud and dirt and that doesn't go well in the cream interior of my little Sue-bee. Who thought it was a good idea to get a light colored interior with a black, usually wet and mud covered dog? I don't know what I was thinking. It won't happen again!

Anyway, to show Belle some extra love I've been making all of her dog treats from scratch. The vet said she needed to lose ten pounds of "chub" so I've been really paying attention to what's been going into her yapper. She especially loves Snickerdoodle Poodle Poos (and so does my Dad, but that's another story!), but tonight she's getting Belle's PBO's (peanut butter oatmeal - I just made that up in case I start a dog treat business some day. *ahem*). Anyway, she was showing some signs of a wheat allergy (licking paws, scratchy skin) so I decided to eliminate it as much as possible. All of her treats arre now made with ingredients such as oat and brown rice flour, oatmeal, safflower oil, honey (from the Rochester farmer's market!), molasses, peanut butter, dried cranberries, flax seed, carob chips....and I try to use organic and all natural.

Why go the extra mile for a dog? I mean, she's just a dog, right? Here's the thing. Belle gives me this amazing, unconditional love. She makes me get out of bed. She makes me take walks. She makes me leave my desk after writing for three or four hours at a stretch. She always has something in her mouth when she greets me at the door, and if she doesn't she runs and gets something before she'll come to me. It's like she brings me a gift every time I come home. She's funny and she's sweet and she protects me. She's worth the extra mile.

Much like George's, Labs are prone to chubbiness. Every pound that she is overweight shortens her lifespan and let's face it; dogs don't live nearly long enough. it's part of the heartbreak that comes with being owned by such an amazing creature. Yes, I said "owned" by a dog. She owns me as much as I own her. She's amazing.

I've always said that I hoped that I could find love in a human like the love of a dog. Maybe it's why I am still single. I'm not sure any person is that selfless or unconditional.

Love you, Belle George!

Bed love.

I love mornings. And I love my bedroom.

I never thought I would hear those words pass my lips, but mornings have become the favorite part of my day. We've settled into a nice routine since I've been unemployed and I know it is going to be very difficult to train myself out of these habits.

Before my mom came to visit for Mother's Day weekend I did some serious cleaning/rearranging/organizing/getting rid of stuff. My apartment was filled with clutter and stuff I thought I absolutely needed. I realized at some point that those things were absolutely not needed. I filled a large black garden-type garbage bag and a comforter bag full of things to leave my home. It felt good to let things go. I've worked to keep it organized and clean and it feels so good to wake up to a clean kitchen, bedroom, bathroom, office area, but I digress...

So each morning I wake up in a bed that I loooooove. It is like a giant cloud and I've been told more than once that I put together a nice bed. So what's the scoop?

Layer 1 - a faux featherbed (a luxury in itself). My great-grandmother always had feather beds and I've had an ongoing love affair with them. When I moved from Geneva from Rochester it was time to let the other feather bed go since it had definitely seen better days. Mom gave me this new (faux) feather bed for Christmas and it is loftier and more sumptuous than the feathers were. It's love.

Layer 2: Good sheets from TJ Maxx. I used to hate it when Mom dragged me to TJ Maxx, because I thought it was just a bunch of crap. I can't stand picking through the clothes, but the TJ Maxx in Canandaigua is also a Home Goods and is heaven. It's the best one around and well worth the drive. Anyway, I have picked up a few pairs of 400 thread count sheets there and they just feel marvelous.

Layer 3: A lightweight down comforter from Ikea with duvet. Ikea sells a whole line of different weight down comforters for a very reasonable price. The problem is finding an Ikea close enough! This one was picked up on a Schools Attuned mission in Long Island last year. A great purchase, indeed!

Layer 4: A down conforter with a Shabby Chic duvet cover. I've bought a lot of bedding over the years, but this is definitely my favorite. The duvet makes it so easy to wash regularly and get rid of animal hair. There's nothing better than clean sheets, clean duvet and a feather bed.

Layer 5 : So, I know some of you are absolutely sweltering by now, but I love the heavy weight of blankets! So layer 5 is a cotton quilt, also from the Shabby Chic line at Target. I love love love this quilt. I've tried to replace it, but I just can't. The color is beautiful and soothing.

I reoriented my bed (which entails taking it completely apart, including the side rails) by turning it 90 degrees from how it was originally positioned, allowing it to face a window and let more light in. I know some of you prefer to sleep in a bat cave, but I haven't found that extra light really bothers me in the morning. Actually, the bed has moved twice since I moved here (it was originally in the loft space) and I like it best this way.

Anyway, I was planning to write about my morning routine, not my thick and sumptuous bed, here you have it.... The morning routine post will have to wait for another day!