
I had my third dream this week involving Gunnar. Things get really weird when this happens, although it's been a long time since he has been in my dreams. I think that he encourages me to just take time and relax and know that things will be okay. As I was telling my office mate Susan about him this morning, Bob Marley's "Three Little Birds" came on Sirius. This along along with "Buffalo Soldier" was one of his favorites (Oh yeah...and "The Winds of Change", but that was because they were a Scandinavian band.) I know that I can be weird about things, but this is something that I don't think that I am completely weird about. Somethings up and he better not go ruining my Lenten promise of giving up men.
The night before last I dreamt that I was getting dressed in doctoral regalia. I hope that is a good sign, too. I guess that I just need to breathe, relax, and trust. It's just so freakin' hard to do sometimes. Okay, most of the time.
I do feel like I am a point of reflection and introspection. I am feeling calmer and much less angry than I have been feeling in the last few months. It feels so fantastic to psychologically let go - like feeling the tension of a tightened fist leave the hand and arm. It just feels good.
I am happy to have this feeling since when I woke up this morning one of my first thoughts was "There is a fight brewing." I don't know where, or who, or when it will be, but my hunch is work. I am not feeling like I want to revisit old relationships and am avoiding building family tension like the plague.
For now I think I just need to feel happy with the relative calmness that has enetered my life. God knows it doesn't stick around me for long.
Oh yeah...and I hit the hundred mile mark, which seems insignificant today...but I am still proud. :)
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