Letting go of nothing and everything?

I had my third dream this week involving Gunnar. Things get really weird when this happens, although it's been a long time since he has been in my dreams. I think that he encourages me to just take time and relax and know that things will be okay. As I was telling my office mate Susan about him this morning, Bob Marley's "Three Little Birds" came on Sirius. This along along with "Buffalo Soldier" was one of his favorites (Oh yeah...and "The Winds of Change", but that was because they were a Scandinavian band.) I know that I can be weird about things, but this is something that I don't think that I am completely weird about. Somethings up and he better not go ruining my Lenten promise of giving up men.

The night before last I dreamt that I was getting dressed in doctoral regalia. I hope that is a good sign, too. I guess that I just need to breathe, relax, and trust. It's just so freakin' hard to do sometimes. Okay, most of the time.

I do feel like I am a point of reflection and introspection. I am feeling calmer and much less angry than I have been feeling in the last few months. It feels so fantastic to psychologically let go - like feeling the tension of a tightened fist leave the hand and arm. It just feels good.

I am happy to have this feeling since when I woke up this morning one of my first thoughts was "There is a fight brewing." I don't know where, or who, or when it will be, but my hunch is work. I am not feeling like I want to revisit old relationships and am avoiding building family tension like the plague.

For now I think I just need to feel happy with the relative calmness that has enetered my life. God knows it doesn't stick around me for long.

Oh yeah...and I hit the hundred mile mark, which seems insignificant today...but I am still proud. :)

Today just wasn't the day...

I was hoping to push past the 100 mile mark today. It was a no go. Technically, I have run over 100 miles this year, but the Nike+ was acting up and didn't count it. Anyway, I didn't quite make the distance today.

Initially, the plan was to run inside on the treadmill. It was such a nice day, though that I hit the streets. I need to get in some outdoor running anyway to try and get the feel again. It is such an incredibly different feel from the treadmill to the road. I can do an easy four or five on the treadmill, but outside is an entirely different story. My pacing was off and the cold air makes a huge difference. I can't say that I did horribly because I don't think that. I was just a little disappointed that I didn't get the full distance in. Maybe tomorrow... Hopefully again outside.

Today has just really been a lazy day. It is not even six o'clock and I am so tired. I could easily take a nap and/or hit the hay for the night. I have a feeling that I will be putting my jams on soon and hitting the futon, where I will fall asleep and then not want to get up when it is time to go to bed. I hate that.

That's it for today. Nothing exciting.

It's open season!!

Oh, yes! It is PEEP season! Sure, some may say that Peeps are available year round and they are, however, are they really available all year? Let's think about this. Deer are available all year, too. So are turkeys. But we don't hunt them year round, do we? Okay, some do but they aren't very respected people now are they? No. So, Peeps are really only available during the Easter season - eatting them any other time is like poaching. Just Born now makes "Peeps" for Valentine's, Halloween, and Christmas, but yuck! The Gingerbread are gross and the hearts and pumpkins just don't even come close to tasting the same. I'm not kidding. I am a Peep addict. I should know.

Imagine my surprise when I was standing in the Easter candy section last night at Wegman's and saw green chicks. Wow! This is the first year for green chicks. While it was tempting to try this inaugural bit of sweetness, I am a traditionalist (or so my mom tells me) and went for the pink bunnies. The bunnies are way more fun to eat than the chicks. The first bite is the ears, followed by the head, and then the body. I used to get to eat the entire thing. Now, I only get the ears and head. Magpie snarfs down the body. The way I figure it is that I am getting 21.34 calories per Peep while Mags is getting 10.67 calories per Peep. Each of us get zero fat. Not a bad deal over all.

I know that not everyone loves Peeps and I really don't understand that. They are puffy little bits of sugary sweetness, just begging to give someone an upset stomach. How can anyone deny that? I have eaten so many Peeps a time or two that it results in a foamy belch. THAT's a good day. Okay, probably it really isn't, but I like them.

I joined the Peep fan club today. I don't know what I get for it, but I hope it's something good!

No gym today. Just hanging out with Maggie on the couch today. Will hit the Y again tomorrow in prep for next weekend's race. Word has it we are getting green fleece vests with our registration rather than just the standard long sleeve t-shirt. BONUS!

Also, I am planning to hop over the 100 mile mark tomorrow. If I do, I am on the way to the Nike outlet for a new pair of running tights! Watch for the big event tomorrow.

My little badges of courage...

First, I am slightly less bitter towards the male sector today, but still holding strong. Running is still better.

I had a fantastic run last night. I still feel like I am running fast, but the treadmill says I am still crawling along. That's a little frustrating, but at the same time it's okay. I am increasing my distance, which builds more muscle resulting in a decrease in fat and pounds. Don't get me wrong. I still have plenty to lose. In any case it felt good. I should have checked my Nike+ before I ended my workout because I only had .06 more to reach 6 miles. Next time!

So I am sure that it is hard for non-runners to understand, but it almost like a little badge of courage when weird things happen to your body as a direct result of pounding the pavement. Last night when I got home from the Y I realized that I was slightly banged up. My pinkie toes are still pretty gross, but I haven't bled through my sneak in a while. That's a good thing! I have little sores all along my waist from my iPod clip rubbing on my skin. I was showering after I got home and felt a burn under "the girls." I am all kinds of chafed under "the girls" and had no idea. Both the waist and under "the girls" can be fixed with regular use of BodyGlide - a nice little wax like stick that prevents chafing and rubbing. All of these little "injuries" are like marks of pride. Pride that I am actually DOING IT. It is such a slow start and is so easy to give up and quit and some days I do still like quitting, but I know how good I feel after the run. Warped, isn't it?

I have put almost 100 miles on my shoes and I am still in love with them. No plantar fasciitis. No sore Achilles. No shin splints. Thank god! Mizunos are fantastic and I don't plan on ever changing running shoes. They have made a huge difference. Originally I was running in Mizuno Wave Creations and went through two pairs of them. Bored with the only option of orange, I switched to the Wave Nirvanas. I admit that I do love the Creations better and will likely switch back in another few hundred miles. I can't wait! I love to get new running shoes.

I am also ridiculously in love with my Nike capri running tights. Wy do I have to brand drop? Because the rest just aren't the same. I've tried Wal-Mart's. I've tried Target's. They just don't measure up and they shouldn't since the Nike tights are like $54 a pair. I don't buy them at full price, but even at the outlets they are like $35 a pair. Again. They are worth it. I love them so much that I even wear them when they stink to HIGH HEAVEN, much like last night. Lordy. They could have run a buzzard off a gut wagon, but I didn't care. They are my faves. I need at least one more pair.

Chilled out with a glass of wine (size LARGE) to watch Grey's Anatomy last night. I understand the whole stuck in purgatory idea the writer's were going for, but c'mon! Meredith was dead for like four hours and she suddenly comes back when Yang touches her feet? I love Katie and all, but if I am stuck in purgatory with a guy who looked like Denny I don't care where she touches. I'm not coming back! That was just preponderous!

I think that is about it for today. It's been kind of slow this week since the schools are closed and I have not had a ton of emails from coordinators and schools. I've actually been pretty productive. No great plans for the weekend. Just hanging out I think. I still need to get in a few good miles to prep for the Shamrock race next Saturday. Should be fun!

What to give up for Lent this year? BOYS!

Yes, I said boys. This basically encompasses anyone with a Y chromosome (with the exception of family). It just seems right to call them "boys" since really none of them are able to show me that they are actually grown-up. Sadly, I do seem to have a knack for finding (and being attracted to) males who are mostly self-centered and who use little more than basic grunts to communicate. Typically, if they are having a really good in the communication arena they will use two syllable words, and rarely three syllable words, but never more than that. Anyway, ,I have decided that I am giving up boys/men/hotties/studs/etc. No phone calls. No text messages. No dates (as if that will be a big sacrifice). Nothing. I am cleansing my spirit, mind, and soul from the toxic poisons of the male species. I'm not a man hater, I have just realized they are more trouble than they are worth. And people seriously still wonder why I am still single? Okay, well it is true that I always get dumped, but at the same time those who have dumped me haven't really been all that great of a catch. Besides, I hear things that my friends say and realize that I don't need that drama in my life. So often women get the bad rap for being the drama queens, but let's face it...men act like little girls who don't get their way most of the time. BUCK UP!

Enough of the man rant...the freakin' energy suckers.

Yesterday was a no run/elliptical day. Basically I engaged in no physical activity and indulged in a ridiculous menu. Lunch was a tuna melt and homemade potato chips. Ugh. That sat like a rock in my gut. I was determined that I was not going to eat dinner. On the drive home, however, Amy called and said her man was being a pain (WHAT A SURPRISE!) and that he was out with a friend and she wasn't allowed to go. Taking pity on yet another female that was dealing with a man's hissy fit, I agreed to go out to dinner. I tried to decide on something healthy. I really did. I ended up with ravioli with marinara sauce. It could have been worse without a doubt.

Anyway, somewhere over the weekend I picked up about another four pounds. This has concerned me all week, but apparently not enough to really do something about it. So, today is the day. I am back on track and am planning at least a five miler tonight. I did bring the rest of the ravioli for lunch today, but it is justified - I need the carbs for running fuel. I do!

I am starting to try to guesstimate in my head when "THEE" letter will come in the mail. Today only makes a week since completing interviews so I figure that I need to give at least a week for the faculty to decide, another week for admissions to decide, and one more week for financial aid to decide (hoping that I make it to financial aid, but even more that I GET financial aid). So, I am thinking that I can't even start panicking until about three more weeks. That will be sheer torture. I've already decided that I will open the letter at a bar. That way, I will be ready to do a shot if I am not accepted and two shots if I am accepted. I think that's fair.

Back to work.

Get out the bikini! We're having a heat wave!

I actually hit close to 50 today. Did you get that? 50 degrees. Like as in warm, kinda. When I was in high school I always broke out the shorts at 65 degrees. Good thing it didn't get that high - I have terribly white legs right now.

Yesterday I decided to give the knees a reprieve from the pounding of running. Instead I did two circuits on the Nautilus and 40 minutes on the elliptical. I forget what a great workout the elliptical is. I also know that it really improves my running and I need to use it more. I think the weight loss is hitting a plateau, so I will be seeing more of the elliptical just to switch it up a bit. Watch out for the future muscles that will come from Nautilus. Don't be afraid.

This morning I was lucky enough to come in to work late - like noon late! It was fantastic. We have our annual meeting for the United Way tonight and we all have to go. It means that I will get home late, so I was sure to get my run in early today. The gym was pretty slow, which I was thankful. I remembered how much I hate running in the morning. Anyway, I did it. I set out to do a 5K, which I completed. Much like the last run I headed down to the treadmill to get some running on an incline. I put in another 2 miles with .75 miles on a descending incline of 4%. That might not sound like much until your butt and thighs are screaming for mercy. Hills are critical for strong running, though, and I have been doing absolutely none. It felt good to switch it up a bit. I also have no idea what the Shamrock Run will be like and I am determined to not be sucking hardcore wind at the end.

Anyway, we are off to dinner before the annual meeting. I am looking forward to bed tonight, but know that I will be reeeeeeeeally sore tomorrow morning. Ouch.

Peace out! (Yes. I did say "Peace out!").

Because I Said So...

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What the HELL?!?!?!

Britney Spears shaved her HEAD? What's that all about?

I feel so very normal sometimes. I think it was cool on Sinead and have always thought of doing it, but now there is no way in HELL. Thanks for ruining my life Britney.

Life in the ghetto...

I am turning thug. I have to. Living in this neighborhood I have no choice. The streets are tough. The people are tougher. Sure. On the surface it may look like I live in a fairly decent building in the historic district of Auburn NY. Sure, the Harriet Tubman house is right down the street and the William Seward house is in the opposite direction. My building is in between. This is a deceiving location. If you've read my previous blogs you understand that I have a busted neighbor downstairs. I am beginning to wonder what in the hell I was thinking moving here.

I am sure you are just dying for the story at this point. I was in bed last night all snuggled in with Maggie (cause I have sworn off men- Mags is more interesting anyway). At about 3:14 am I hear yelling down in the parking lot of my tenement house. I hear "Get the F*CK out of my car! Get out! I will call the police! Get the F*UCK OUT OF MY CAR NOW!" This went on for ten minutes or so as I was laying in bed debating whether to yell out the window to tell them to SHUT UP (which I decided against for fear they would pop a cap in my ass like the cocaine spider did to the pot spider) OR call the police. I chose neither since I took too long to decide and they finally shut up. I don't know if it was a man and a woman or two women. Later, I hear yelling again, except this time it is "There is blood all over my coat! You got blood all over my coat!" I have no idea what happened or what it was about. I fell back asleep.

As I took Mags out to potty and play ball this morning (a seemingly safe, middle class American kind of thing to do), I see blood ALL OVER the parking lot. There are pools and spots, but it is definitely blood. I know this for sure given the events of the previous night. Again, no idea what happened. Ugh. It was disgusting and I didn't even want to walk on the snow that was bloody. I was freaked about Mag even walking on it. Thankfully, she took the path of most resistance through the snow bank that is past her chest. She's so smart.

It is often that I come home to find Wegman shopping carts in front of the back door of the building. There is currently a broken refrigerator in the little out building where the recycling cans are. There is also a busted futon (not mine, even though it almost fell apart from the vibration of my neighbor's music), a nasty grill and a bunch of other junk. I seriously feel like I live in a dive sometimes. Thankfully, my apartment is nice and once I come inside and immediately snap the deadbolt - which I also do regardless of the hour - I at least feel like I am someplace semi decent.

I know that I am going to move. Even if I don't get into the U of R I am still moving to the other side of work. Once mom moves it makes no sense for me to stay in Auburn. I am also thinking that I need a little distance from Owasco (which is where a guy that I formerly REALLY liked, but now REALLY despise lives). The best thing about Auburn is the YMCA, but I am hoping that maybe my membership will transfer to another one. Not really sure how that works.

I admit that I did not run today. After the five mile yesterday, my legs are feeling pretty beat. I am happy to be sitting at home doing absolutely nothing with Maggie laying next to me. Every once in a while she plunks her head on my knee and I love that. She is awesome. So, anyway....running. I will hit the gym tomorrow and the thought of the track nearly brings me to tears, but the thought of the treadmill is even worse. When will spring be here so I can run outside again?

Come on Spring. Hurry up. I need to make some life decisions - AGAIN.

It's such a weird thing.

Running is weird. Every day I am confused by how far I can or can't run and how fast I can or can't run it. It was just a few weeks ago that I reached almost 20 miles in a week. As of today I have done a little voer 15 miles for the week. I guess that still isn't too bad since I still have tomorrow to add a few miles. SOme days my legs just feel like logs, but I have to keep in mind what has gotten me through my weight loss so far. It has been running. Hands down.

I will be running the Shamrock Run in Buffalo on March 3 with Katie. I think I really need the run as a motivation. The track is really bringing me down.

What an odd little man...

Last night's interview was....interesting? I stood outside his office door, which was completely closed with no lights on. At about 4:32 he came out carrying his coat, realized I was standing there and asked if I was going to let him sit in his office all night. Well? In my world a closed door means do not disturb. I was trying to be courteous in case he was with someone else. Apparently when you are a prof, you get to be as weird as you want with no questions asked. I guess I will fit in well.

So, I sit down and he at least comments that my paper on abstinence-only programming was very good. I took that to be a good sign. He asked about my career goals (and mentioned that I don't necessarily have to have any) and I tried as best as I could to fill him in. I have no idea what I want to do exactly. I have a general idea, but it is hard for me to put it into words. I know that I would like to teach college. Beyond that - clueless.

He also mentioned that my background in development was not very strong. I will be emailing him to contend that health education is development. Hello? How can you consider health programming without thinking of developmental stages? Not to mention I took Human Development and Family Studies, Educational Psychology, Group Processes, Human Development again in grad school....I don't need to list my entire transcript at this point. You get it.

I have no idea which way this interview will go. He was pretty unengaging unlike Tuesday's interview. I did see the paperwork from Tuesday and she has recommended an acceptance. At least I have person on my side.

As I was filling my co-workers in on the interview this morning, our secretary asked if I would go part-time or full-time. My boss is sitting there feeling some apprehension, I am sure. I did say that my initial intention was to attend part-time, but my real intention is to attend full-time if I can swing it. Let me break it down:

• 4 years of coursework for full-time (6 calendar years for part-time)
• A portfolio at the end of the 1st year for full-time, 2nd year for part-time
• A comprehensive exam that consists of three questions (research, theory, and literature) that takes approximately 1 year to complete (unsure how long for part-time)
• Dissertation proposal (unsure of timeline on this one)
• Dissertation (six to 18 months full-time, years part-time)

I am pretty sure I would be on crack if I even considered doing this part-time. I need to commit and do it or I will be over 40 by the time I am done. I would like to think that there may be the possibility of having a real relationship with a real male human being at some point in my life. I don't really see that happening now or while I am in school.

So, right now the plan is to quit my job and go back to school full-time starting in the fall. I should know by the end of March if I am accepted. I will be horribly disappointed if I am not accepted. I am ready to do this. I also can't imagine staying in this area for six years to attend classes part-time. Somebody just shoot me.

That's the report. Now I sit and wait. Maybe I will actually get some work done at work? I've been so focused on completing the application and then doing the interviews that I've been slightly preoccupied.

That's it for now, I think. Hoping to get a five mile in tonight. Haven't run much this week.

Cupid rhymes with stupid.

Here it is. February 14th. Valentine's Day. If I could type in a snotty, snarly tone I totally would. What a freakin' joke this "holiday" is. In my opinion, it is just another way that our culture discriminates against single people. Like if you don't have anyone to give you those cheesy stuffed bears with pleather motorcycles vests you are somehow dysfunctional. That's just stupid. Much like Cupid. I have actually survived pretty well today and could care less who has a Valentine and who doesn't. Big fat deal.

I saw my boyfriend, Running, tonight anyway. He and I did 3.5 miles and really had my heart pumping. He made my legs weak and the rest of me sweaty, too. What a guy. No flowers. No candy. No jewelry. Just some good, honest time between he and me.

We are getting bombarded with snow. This morning I had to chop at the snow to get it off my Jeep. I also got stuck at the YMCA and had to put it in the lowest four-wheel drive possible. I had no idea how to get it out of that drive once it was in and had to stop and read the manual. I guess I will know in he future.

I got an email from the admissions office at the University of Rochester and all interviews are on for the rest of the week. It looks like I will be traveling to Rochester tomorrow afternoon again to complete the process. If it is awful, we can opt for a phone interview, but I think I prefer the face to face. Target is also on the way so that helps, too.

Had a virtual go-round with the neighbor downstairs again. He had the music so loud that my futon was literally vibrating. I could not hear the television. Not really sure what to do, I called the landlord and she called him. She did say that he is a jerk and they will be out by spring. Thank God. I may be out by spring, too, though.

Okay. Mags is bugging me for some attention. I can't blame her. I am a good snuggler.

1 interview down? Kinda?

This has been a long day. Up at 5:30 to be ready to get to Waterloo by 7:30, only to turn back around and ride to Syracuse for a training that was supposed to end at noon and theoretically have us back at the office by 1:30. Theoretically. We ran late and didn't get back to the office until 2:45ish. The drive to Rochester is about an hour and the email I received for meeting confirmation said to plan up to 30 minutes for parking and making it to the building. I was panicked.

So, I hopped in the Jeep and headed down the thruway. Of course I took two wrong turns before I finally made it to the campus, which is beautiful (even in the winter). As I entered the campus I stopped at the info booth to ask about parking only to find out it was going to be tight because Jesse Jackson was on campus. Fabulous. At this point it is 4:18 and I am freaking out. I tell the lady at the info booth I have a 4:30 meeting and need to know where to park. She told me where to go. I had no idea where she meant and picked my own spot, which was apparently okay because I didn't get a ticket. I parked, hopped out of the Jeep, and started rapidly approaching a building that I had no idea were it was. Much like my first day on campus at Penn State, I asked a student where Dewey Hall was and thankfully they sent me to the right building.

I walked in and gave my name at the info desk. The woman introduced herself, but I have no idea what her name is. She had a professor from Curriculum and Teaching take me downstairs to meet with the prof I was to interview with. It is now 4:25. We make it to her office and she is meeting with someone else. Prof 1 places me in a room and goes back to tell interview prof where I am.

At about 4:45, interview prof comes and gets me from the "waiting room." Apparently I am one of those people that people just feel comfortable talking to? She informed me that her son had a dentist appointment and that she had to go pick him up because her husband thinks she doesn't have anything else to do. Her handshake was also very limp. Not good sign.

We make it to her office (which looks like a typical disorganized prof's office - I will fit in well) and I take a seat. She asks what I am doing now and why I am interested in the program at this point in my life. I explain it, blah blah blah...

Shortly after, the phone rings. Apparently it was her daughter who had been arrested and placed in jail for four days because she had been written up at her University and missed the ticket in the mail to show for court. She missed court. They arrested her. Yes. This was discussed in my interview. If you know me well, you really shouldn't be surprised that this would have happened to me. It seems like I have weird crap like this happen all the time.

Here's the part that really frosted my mini wheats... She says to me, "I didn't get a chance to read your writing sample. Based on how you talk, I would assume you are a strong writer. Can you explain to me what this paper is about?" Are you KIDDING ME? I spent a HUGE number of hours on that paper. Large amounts of research. Many hours of writing. Several of editing. And it wasn't even read. Ouch. Welcome to a Ph.D. program?

She did make a decent recommendation that I consider the Ed.D. program rather than the Ph.D. program. Ed.D. tends to be more theory and application, whereas Ph.D. tends to be more research oriented. I am not sure I can spend most of my days doing research, so I may change to Ed.D.

So, after relaying all of this to my office mate, she has recommended that I request another interview with a person more qualified to make an accurate assessment and recommendation for my admission. She is probably right. I am hoping Thursday's interview will go much better? It never gets easy to talk about myself (regardless of what some people think).

That's pretty much the full report....oh...she did notice that I didn't do so hot in statistics. That kind of sucked. I made up an excuse and she probably bought it. In reality I just really hate stats.

After the interview I headed to the Eastview to find something to wear for Thursday's interview. Once again, I found nothing. I also exchanged my Nike+ for a brand new chip and sensor, and I am once again hopeful it will work this time. Cross your fingers again.

I did not find clothes for Thursday's interview, but I did find a great new running tank. Lucky me!

Monday.

I hate Mondays although today was pretty productive. I got a bunch of actual work done, which was nice. Anyway, work isn't really the important thing in my life now, is it?

Tonight's run was a struggle. I am not sure what's going on. I think I am entering a funk. I feel like I just run in circles and circles and circles. Running outside last night was really awesome, even with the snow and ice. It was cold, but it was a change of scenery. The indoor track is killing me and part way through tonight I moved to the treadmill. That was boring as hell, too. I am getting good results, though so I will keep it up. I am also still frustrated with the Nike+. I will be exchanging it tomorrow for a new one and see if that one works better. Here's hoping. I think it's constant malfunctioning is part of my frustration.

Tomorrow is kind of a big day. It is also a long day. I have to be in Waterloo by 7:30 only to turn around and go back to Syracuse for a conference. How stupid is that? I don't know what the conference is about so you may as well not even ask.

I also have my first grad school interview tomorrow. I have NO idea what I am going to wear. Dress code is suit, which is a problem since most of my clothes no longer fit (as in they are too big). I guess I will be sporting the infamous pink suit tomorrow and then hit Macy's at the Eastview Mall after to find something for my Thursday interview.

(I have had to delete this particular paragraph because of the need to report how my interview went tonight - Tuesday- at the U of R. Because I prefer to not be sued because of a blog post that lists a prof's name, I have just deleted the paragraph. Don't worry. You will live. It wasn't that exciting anyway.)

I think that is it for now. Ready for bed and hoping I sleep well. I have some sleep to catch up on from the weekend. Argh.

Now I know what it feels like to be a crack addict...

Okay, not exactly like a crack addict, but maybe close? Probably not even close, actually. Anyway, by the time I got home tonight after the working the 10K in Olean for the YMCA Polar Bear Run, I was inspired. I also had a semi-shitty and a great weekend all at once, so a run was much needed.

When I got home, I immediately got changed. Three top layers, a winter hat, mittens, and running tights later I headed out the door. Started the Nike+ and had the same problem again. Tonight I ran .85 miles in a blistering 35.22 minutes. Nobody can catch me now! Give me a break! I could have inch wormed that distance faster than that. In reality, it was about 3 miles. Cut me some slack. I've been running inside and outside running is completely different. You have to navigate the snow and ice, which becomes a full-time challenge. You also have to stop at intersections and wait for rude people who don't give runners any space. That makes me banonkers. Anyway, Katie invited me to run the Shamrock Run on March 3, so I need to log some miles outside.

Anyway, about the Nike+. I finally realized tonight that it was searching for the sensor, which is a big problem. I restored my iPod and plugged in my Nike+ and it searched for the sensor again, which is good news. I am anxious to try it tomorrow and see what happens. God only know how many miles I've actually done and I have no idea because I haven't been counting laps inside. Guess I will find out tomorrow.

Mags has gas. Like as in clear the room gas. Kentucky Fried Chicken (no, I did not eat there) gave her a breaded chicken strip today. I wonder if that's the culprit?

I was tempted to say that the weekend in Wellsville was a let down, but that isn't exactly true. Things did not go as I hoped, but it was still okay. I got my hair did with my old stylist. She is worth the drive. Had a great Saturday afternoon with Erica in Olean with a stop in at Katie's to see the babes. Saturday night brought a benefit at the Amith Rescue Squad for the church. Beef on Weck. Yum. Then to Better days....alone. Walk in, have a few beers, have a guy say to me "Let's make out." So I kissed him. Pissed off the guy I went there to meet and ultimately ended in him taking home a Sasquatch looking girl. At least I can feel better about myself today than hopefully he does.

Things have recently become frustrating on the guy front again and I've decided that I can no longer tolerate the bullshit. I am electively staying single. No shenanigans. No anything. I am doing what I need to do and men be damned. Running is my new boyfriend. It supports me. it flatters me. It gives me great muscles. Most importantly, it STRENGTHENS my heart, not breaks it. Cheesy, I know, but screw it - I'll take what I can get these days. Boys suck and someday all who have ditched me will be sorry. A woman Scorpio scorned is not a good thing. That doesn't necessarily mean that I am going to do anything to the guys. It means that I am putting my energy into me and will excel, leaving them eating dust and picking rocks out of their foreheads from my wheels spinning gravel up into their stupid ass faces. Fine. I am bitter.

Speaking of guys...I chatted with Brian Acton for a while on the drive home tonight. He is currently in Calgary and will be in British Columbia in a few days. He sent me this picture, which is pretty darn funny if you ask me.... Did I happen to mention that I hate horses? Their teeth are enormous and their hooves are big...not as big as Sasquatch's, but still big nonetheless.

Mag and I went to visit our old neighborhood this weekend. As soon as Mag jumped out of the Jeep she ran to the backdoor of our house. Ouch. That stung.

Anyway, back to the grind tomorrow. I am tired.

Holy cow!!! Grad school interviews this week! Yeee haw! I hope I don't end up cheating on my new boyfriend for a new man called grad school. That wouldn't be very good of me.

Prince Charming is a Douche Bag

Sorry. I can't resist. Michelle and her family just got back from Florida and Disney World. In here pictures, Prince Charming exists, but I am fairly certain that it is just a weird mirage in the picture. You know? Like when ghosts show up in pictures as shadows? I think he was only so strong in the image because it is so close to (gag) Valentine's Day. (Can you hardly wait for the Valentine's Day post?) More about Disney later...

Haven't been feeling so hot the last couple of days. Ugh. Yesterday was particularly yuck and I felt like I had been smack dab rolled over my a big ole truck. Wasn't sure if I was going in to work today, but I slept in late and felt okay to go. So, in I went. Mid morning I felt like crap again this morning, and then felt better after I actually ate something. Made it through the day, unlike my poor friend Erica, who had to stay home. Did we catch some crud from that dirty Fleischman clan Friday night at the garage partaay? Dunno.

Anyway, got some things off my chest today that I have wanted to say for a long time. I am sure that they will have no effect or any impact, but at least I said them.

Made it for a run tonight, but I am still frustrated with my iPod Nike+. Tonight it said that I was running a 17.24 mile at one point and at another I was running a 0 pace (as in zero). So, I don't know what my pace was. The first two miles were consistent, at about 10:08, so I can only assume that the last 1.1 was about the same? I don't know what's up with that thing, but it is frustrating. I guess I am going to have to make it on an actual track at some point and try to recalibrate it AGAIN. It is such a cool piece of technology when it actually works. I do think it is accurate for mileage, but not for pace.

Michelle's family made it back from Florida. It looks like they had a fantastic time. The kids are adorable, of course. I copied a few pictures that I just love. I can't resist this one:

Apparently Jenny Jr. got her ears pierced on the trip. Doesn't look so happy here, but I am guessing that she likes the new earrings!

When I was in Chicago last October, I bought Jenny Jr. a Belle dress from the Disney Store. Apparently, Michelle remembered to bring it with them to Disney. How awesome is this picture?

I have tried to upload some pictures of The String Bean, but for some reason it isn't working? Maybe I can add some tomorrow?

Okay, should do some cleaning (yuck). More tomorrow!

My Journey Back to the Motherland

Okay, so it wasn't really the "motherland" per se, but it was Wellsville and the general Wellsville/Olean/Franklinville region. Rock on.

I went with Erica to her brother's Friday night for a little garage party, done only like they do it in Belmont NY. An acoustic guitar guy (who was adorable with rosy red cheeks) and a drummer (with more hair than I can possibly begin to imagine having) were "rocking" out in the garage. They didn't play very much music, but hey...we had fun.

Saturday morning brought a run with Katie at the Y. Emily and Amelia are ridiculously adorable. The Divine Ms. Em continues to be in rare form with witty, clever comments. Her new trick was making silly faces and smearing sugar from Dunkin' Donut holes all over her face and then asking what color her face was. That resulted in the donut hole being taken away from the Divine One. She is too much.

After the run, it was back to Katie's where I overflowed the shower because I thought it was a "slow drain." Well, it wasn't. It was a 100% clogged rain and I overflowed the shower. Feeling kind of like an idiot, I got dressed and made a quick escape. I always somehow manage to do something stupid when I am there.

Next stop? The Hillman Clan. I stopped to see Kristin, Scott, Ana, and Nicholas. They are teeny teeny tiny little babes. Ana is as little as she looks in the pictures. One stops crying and gets layed down only to have the other start and need to be picked up. I do have to give them props for running a very efficient operation over there, though. Shew. It has been confirmed that everything with twins is a process. God bless them!

Back to Erica's after that for a quick din at the Chinese restaurant and then off to see a band called "Big Leg Emma" at the Wellsville Creative Arts Center. The band was AWESOME combining rock, folk, country, blues, zydeco, blue grass...you name it, there was probably some of it thrown in there. They played a nice long set and we had a smashing time. Erica bought the cd, which would come in handy later. Check out Big Leg Emma at www.biglegemma.com . Katie will hate them, I am quite sure.

Then, of course, a quick stop at Better Days! As Erica and I are sitting on the benches in the back of the bar, who walks in? Big Red Johnny Hillside. Yum! What a DEEElightful surprise. It was good to....ahem...see him.

All in all, I would say it was good weekend. Only got one mile in, but it was still a mile. I am heading back this weekend, so I hope the week goes quickly!

I went to the gym last night in an attempt to get back into my running schedule. Oy vay! I had the worst run I have had in a really long time. Something was up with my Nike+ system, too, because at one point it said I was running something like a 5:42 mile. Yikes. I am pretty sure my legs would fly off if I were running that quickly. In any case, I will count the miles in my total mileage, but will not post the specific run on the side of the blog. It is not news worthy. Let's hope for a better run tonight, dammit.

This morning has quite honestly sucked. I was WIDE awake at 4:00 this morning so I decided not to fight it and got up and ready for work. I took Mag out for a while and then headed into the office. As I was headed into Seneca Falls, I saw some kind of line across my windshield. As I looked closer, I realized that the windshield had cracked almost the entire width of the thing. Great! NO problem. I have full glass coverage. So, I file an online claim only to be told that I have a $500 deductible. Excuse me? I have ALWAYS carried full glass. So, I email Geico asking what the story is. I am then informed that they dropped my glass coverage when I got rid of the Focus and added the Jeep (2003). They gave me some song and dance that they send paperwork to review blah blah blah...the email started "Please be advised..." My email back to them started with "Please be advised I am looking for a new insurance company." So, anyway I have to scrounge up $220 for a new friggin' windshield. Did I mention that I just got new brakes last week at the price of $350? Does money suddenly come flying from random body orifices? Give me a freakin' break.

And then there's work. That's all I need to say about that.

Speaking of which, I suppose I should get back to it....but wait...does it really look like I have time in my life for a full-time job?

Could this really happen?

Is this really the time? Could it really happen that I could start work on a Ph.D.? I just got a call from the Admissions Office at the Warner School at the University of Rochester to set up my appointments for faculty interviews. I will need to go twice, once on 2/13 and once on 2/15. I think that maybe I should start working on doing a little research regarding the ole human development field so that I can sound half-way educated when I meet with them. I know that I will be intimidated and tongue tied initially. What does one wear to an interview with faculty?

In any case, I am excited. I hope things go well. Say a prayer to the financial gods.