My sugar addiction...

Hi. My name is Jennifer and I am a serious sugar addict. Seriously. I was doing so stinking well and now I am back to square one. I crave it for no apparent reason other than I am addicted. I feel tired all of the time. I am not eating well. It is the damn sugars fault. I ate almost an entire box of Runts today. They are purely little beads of sugar with a waxy coating. Not only can the sugar not be good for me, but seriously...is the waxy covering very good? Doubtful. Tomorrow is a new day and I am going to break the addiction. I am admitting right now that I have a problem. That's the first step, right? It really does make me feel miserable. I don't even want to go running or to the gym or do anything except eat more sugar. Pig.

This weekend was pretty unremarkable. Saturday was spent working and then to a naughty party in Rochester. I bought nothing and got home very late. Sunday was a day in Ithaca, which was nice. The weather was just beautiful and Mags and I hit the park once I got home. She slept well. I slept well. All was good.

I think I forgot to mention the other day that I went for a massage. I needed it. I did not do a traditional Swedish massage, but something called a cranio-sacral massage instead. It is manipulation of the skull bones and spine. The touch is very light and it feels like nothing is really happening. Since I have had it done I am sleeping like a rock, which is something that I've not done in a really long time. My lower back pain is gone, too. She claims that it helps with PMS. If there is any good person to test that theory, I am thinking that would be me.

This week is semi-busy. I am meeting with administrators about our grants and the program for next year. Tomorrow is a big meeting - a school that does not want to comply with the grant regulations that we may need to pull funding from. It is not going to be a fun conversation, but life is full of choices and they may have made theirs. The crappy thing is that the kids lose out. Adults suck.

Wednesday night I am going to see Dirty Dancing in the theater in Syracuse. I didn't see it on the big screen the first time around, so this should be fun! Thursday night is orientation at the University of Rochester (which just got named as one of the top 25 new "Ivy" schools in the nation). I am hoping that I can maybe get in some more apartment shopping that night. I am still undecided as to whether I want to live in Rochester or not. I like the idea of being closer to school and Wellsville, but not so keen on the 45 minute drive daily. I am thinking that I will be ending up in Seneca Falls, which is a beautiful little historic town. I was hoping to give my notice to Kings and Queens this month, but it doesn't look like it is going to happen.

Okay, I am going to et my sugar addicted butt to the gym. I have to at least get some elliptical in. This is how it all starts. You skip one day...then two...then before you know it you haven't done anything in three months and it hurts all over again. For me it has been since Friday, so I absolutely am in the time frame that it could all go down hill from here. I don't want that to happen. I get to reward myself with "A Night at the Museum" (movie) tonight. That should be fun!

Oh what a beautiful day....

It is raining. It is cold. It is a beautiful day. Why? Because my income tax came. Glorious. Each year I "treat" myself to a little something (when I actually get a return). One year it was a watch. One year it was a palm pilot that I 1) never used and 2) hated. So what's it going to be this year? Well.... any guesses? Let's think about this. Over the last year I have:

Moved
Changed jobs
Left my friends
Rehomed a puppy
Got into grad school
Ran 200 miles
Lost fiftyish pounds (depending on the day)
Been in interesting "relationship" situations and just generally put up with a lot of male bullshit

So get to the point. What's it going to be? I know you are just dying to know. I believe it will be a new Coach bag!. YUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUM!!!!!!!!! Don't worry. We have the outlet here. It won't leave that big of a dent. Besides it will be on sale and who can pass up a sale? Meow.

So, last night (as mentioned above) I surpassed my 200 mile mark for running. I was pretty proud. That's a lot of miles! The thing that is even more amazing is that I have stuck with it. I have been doing it on my own, which is hard. it was hard when I was running with Katie and Cristin, but I never really had that drive to do it on my own. I have learned a lot about myself in the last few months. I am stronger than I thought and that makes me proud.

Well, I would really like to add more, but the Coach Outlet is calling me.

Oh what a beautiful day....

It is raining. It is cold. It is a beautiful day. Why? Because my income tax came. Glorious. Each year I "treat" myself to a little something (when I actually get a return). One year it was a watch. One year it was a palm pilot that I 1) never used and 2) hated. So what's it going to be this year? Well.... any guesses? Let's think about this. Over the last year I have:

Moved
Changed jobs
Left my friends
Rehomed a puppy
Got into grad school
Ran 200 miles (and that was just the last two months!)
Lost fiftyish pounds (depending on the day)
Been in interesting "relationship" situations and just generally put up with a lot of male bullshit

So get to the point. What's it going to be? I know you are just dying to know. I believe it will be a new Coach bag!. YUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUM!!!!!!!!! Don't worry. We have the outlet here. It won't leave that big of a dent. Besides it will be on sale and who can pass up a sale? Meow.

So, last night (as mentioned above) I surpassed my 200 mile mark for running. I was pretty proud. That's a lot of miles! The thing that is even more amazing is that I have stuck with it. I have been doing it on my own, which is hard. it was hard when I was running with Katie and Cristin, but I never really had that drive to do it on my own. I have learned a lot about myself in the last few months. I am stronger than I thought and that makes me proud.

Well, I would really like to add more, but the Coach Outlet is calling me.

Gosh! It's been so long!

Well, hello there. It's been a while. Over a week? Wow.

I guess there either hasn't been much happening or more than I handle. Not sure which one... Let's see. Where to start?

Work has been busy since we are approaching the end of the year. I am trying to get site visits in as well as set up meetings with all of the administrators. It has been a scheduling nightmare. Anyway, I think we are all set up and ready to go.

I went this past Saturday to meet with the doctor in Fairport that I was considering sharing a house with. It is pretty clear that he wants/needs the money, but he continues to ask questions about Maggie and the dirt that comes with her. It isn't like she slops around in mud puddles and then goes tearing through the house...well, okay she does if I let her. He asked if I take her to the groomers. She is a LAB. That is part of the beauty of having a lab. She doesn't have to go to the groomers. He also asked me about space and basically if I would give him his space. I said "What do you mean - space?" "Well, ya know sometimes I just like to come home and make dinner and veg in the den. Would you be okay with that?" Hmmm....let me think about that one. I haven't lived with anyone in ten years. I am incredibly independent. Yeah. I think you could have your space, which then lead me to the thought of do I really want to spend all of my time in my bedroom? If that was the case I may as well get a studio for way cheaper and call it a day. Anyway, he asked me to sign a YEAR lease. Can you imagine? Who in their right mind signs a lease for a year when they move into someone else's house? What if it is a nightmare. So I told him I was not comfortable signing a year lease and he offered to make a shorter one. Six months. Sorry. Six months is still too long if he is a weirdo. No go. I mentioned that if one of us actually found a significant other that maybe that person wouldn't be so okay with the arrangement. He didn't seem to get it. It is pretty much sounding like I am not living there, huh? Not to mention that his dog Mitchell (a boxer) drools constantly and sniffs at Maggie nonstop. At one point Mag got pissed and barked at Mitchell, which then lead to the question of whether Maggie is dangerous and would she attack Mitchell. I was thinking that she SHOULD attack him for not leaving her alone. I just got a weird feeling about the whole thing and it really pushed me over the edge with the year lease. I guess I keep looking.

Saturday night I had a great run down by Owasco Lake. I didn't know there were piers there and took advantage of being able to run on them. The sun was setting and except for the bug that I snorted through my schnoz it was a great night. A little Kenny Chesney and some steel drum action. Was good to go.

I need to make a decision about my house in Wellsville. I need the money. Point blank. I have gotten no scholarships from the U of R and got no federal financial aid. Great. I have some thoughts on it, though and am going come hell or high water.

Okay, I will try to keep up to date a little better. I just don't have a lot going on right now. I will try to stir up some drama over the next few days!

What a horribly tragic day.

As I was sitting at my desk this afternoon, Susan announced that there had been a shooting on the campus at Virginia Tech. At that point the death count was tragic, butfairly low...but then it climbed...and kept climbing. I am so saddened by the events at VT today and my heart goes out to all of the families, students, and community there. I don't understand the senselessness of this act. I, like the rest of the world, am interested in hearing motive, background, method. What brings a person to this point?

Reading about the shootings immediately took me back to my time at Penn State and the sniper shooting on the HUB lawn in 1996. It was the beginning of the fall semester and we were changing classes. The HUB lawn was a beautiful expanse of grass where students would lay and study before finals. There were festivals here along with carnivals and concerts. It was just a great place to hang out. That was shattered the day a sniper hid in the bushes with a rifle and a bottle of orange juice waiting for students to make their moves. She hadn't opened fire during the rush for 8:00 classes, but after that. One student was killed and several other were injured. Bullets were found in downtown buildings blocks away from campus for weeks after the shooting.

The feeling of having your life and your campus violated by an intruder is earth shaking. There is nothing like it. This place where you dream of going your life suddenly becomes dangerous. The reality that your utopia isn't utopia any more than anywhere else is heart breaking and crippling. The aftermath of that event on campus was painful. We grieved as a campus. We prayed as a campus. Proudly, my senior class gift was the Peace Garden on campus - a place with benches and white flowers and paths. Wouldn't it be a beautiful thing if that's all it took? A few flowers and benches for the world to be safe?

It's not okay that someone comes and takes the dreams and sense of well-being from an entire campus. It's not fair. It's not okay. What gives someone that power?

I know this world is not perfect. I know there will always be pain, but why does it have to be where young people are just beginning to bloom? Where they are learning who the are and how they want to be a part of the world?

The events at Virginia Tech put a heavy weight on my heart. Remembering Columbine...and countless others. Take a look at this timeline of shootings. Notice how many are in the United States. Where are we failing and how can we make it better?

Feb. 2, 1996 Moses Lake, Wash.	Two students and one teacher killed, one other wounded when 14-year-old Barry Loukaitis opened fire on his algebra class.
March 13, 1996 Dunblane, Scotland	16 children and one teacher killed at Dunblane Primary School by Thomas Hamilton, who then killed himself. 10 others wounded in attack.
Feb. 19, 1997 Bethel, Alaska	Principal and one student killed, two others wounded by Evan Ramsey, 16.
March 1997 Sanaa, Yemen	Eight people (six students and two others) at two schools killed by Mohammad Ahman al-Naziri.
Oct. 1, 1997 Pearl, Miss.	Two students killed and seven wounded by Luke Woodham, 16, who was also accused of killing his mother. He and his friends were said to be outcasts who worshiped Satan.
Dec. 1, 1997 West Paducah, Ky.	Three students killed, five wounded by Michael Carneal, 14, as they participated in a prayer circle at Heath High School.
Dec. 15, 1997 Stamps, Ark.	Two students wounded. Colt Todd, 14, was hiding in the woods when he shot the students as they stood in the parking lot.
March 24, 1998 Jonesboro, Ark.	Four students and one teacher killed, ten others wounded outside as Westside Middle School emptied during a false fire alarm. Mitchell Johnson, 13, and Andrew Golden, 11, shot at their classmates and teachers from the woods.
April 24, 1998 Edinboro, Pa.	One teacher, John Gillette, killed, two students wounded at a dance at James W. Parker Middle School. Andrew Wurst, 14, was charged.
May 19, 1998 Fayetteville, Tenn.	One student killed in the parking lot at Lincoln County High School three days before he was to graduate. The victim was dating the ex-girlfriend of his killer, 18-year-old honor student Jacob Davis.
May 21, 1998 Springfield, Ore.	Two students killed, 22 others wounded in the cafeteria at Thurston High School by 15-year-old Kip Kinkel. Kinkel had been arrested and released a day earlier for bringing a gun to school. His parents were later found dead at home.
June 15, 1998 Richmond, Va.	One teacher and one guidance counselor wounded by a 14-year-old boy in the school hallway.
April 20, 1999 Littleton, Colo.	14 students (including killers) and one teacher killed, 23 others wounded at Columbine High School in the nation's deadliest school shooting. Eric Harris, 18, and Dylan Klebold, 17, had plotted for a year to kill at least 500 and blow up their school. At the end of their hour-long rampage, they turned their guns on themselves.
April 28, 1999 Taber, Alberta, Canada	One student killed, one wounded at W. R. Myers High School in first fatal high school shooting in Canada in 20 years. The suspect, a 14-year-old boy, had dropped out of school after he was severely ostracized by his classmates.
May 20, 1999 Conyers, Ga.	Six students injured at Heritage High School by Thomas Solomon, 15, who was reportedly depressed after breaking up with his girlfriend.
Nov. 19, 1999 Deming, N.M.	Victor Cordova Jr., 12, shot and killed Araceli Tena, 13, in the lobby of Deming Middle School.
Dec. 6, 1999 Fort Gibson, Okla.	Four students wounded as Seth Trickey, 13, opened fire with a 9mm semiautomatic handgun at Fort Gibson Middle School.
Dec. 7, 1999 Veghel, Netherlands	One teacher and three students wounded by a 17-year-old student.
Feb. 29, 2000 Mount Morris Township, Mich.	Six-year-old Kayla Rolland shot dead at Buell Elementary School near Flint, Mich. The assailant was identified as a six-year-old boy with a .32-caliber handgun.
March 2000 Branneburg, Germany	One teacher killed by a 15-year-old student, who then shot himself. The shooter has been in a coma ever since.
March 10, 2000 Savannah, Ga.	Two students killed by Darrell Ingram, 19, while leaving a dance sponsored by Beach High School.
May 26, 2000 Lake Worth, Fla.	One teacher, Barry Grunow, shot and killed at Lake Worth Middle School by Nate Brazill, 13, with .25-caliber semiautomatic pistol on the last day of classes.
Sept. 26, 2000 New Orleans, La.	Two students wounded with the same gun during a fight at Woodson Middle School.
Jan. 17, 2001 Baltimore, Md.	One student shot and killed in front of Lake Clifton Eastern High School.
Jan. 18, 2001 Jan, Sweden	One student killed by two boys, ages 17 and 19.
March 5, 2001 Santee, Calif.	Two killed and 13 wounded by Charles Andrew Williams, 15, firing from a bathroom at Santana High School.
March 7, 2001 Williamsport, Pa.	Elizabeth Catherine Bush, 14, wounded student Kimberly Marchese in the cafeteria of Bishop Neumann High School; she was depressed and frequently teased.
March 22, 2001 Granite Hills, Calif.	One teacher and three students wounded by Jason Hoffman, 18, at Granite Hills High School. A policeman shot and wounded Hoffman.
March 30, 2001 Gary, Ind.	One student killed by Donald R. Burt, Jr., a 17-year-old student who had been expelled from Lew Wallace High School.
Nov. 12, 2001 Caro, Mich.	Chris Buschbacher, 17, took two hostages at the Caro Learning Center before killing himself.
Jan. 15, 2002 New York, N.Y.	A teenager wounded two students at Martin Luther King Jr. High School.
Feb. 19, 2002 Freising, Germany	Two killed in Eching by a man at the factory from which he had been fired; he then traveled to Freising and killed the headmaster of the technical school from which he had been expelled. He also wounded another teacher before killing himself.
April 26, 2002 Erfurt, Germany	13 teachers, two students, and one policeman killed, ten wounded by Robert Steinhaeuser, 19, at the Johann Gutenberg secondary school. Steinhaeuser then killed himself.
April 29, 2002 Vlasenica, Bosnia-Herzegovina	One teacher killed, one wounded by Dragoslav Petkovic, 17, who then killed himself.
April 14, 2003 New Orleans, La.	One 15-year-old killed, and three students wounded at John McDonogh High School by gunfire from four teenagers (none were students at the school). The motive was gang-related.
April 24, 2003 Red Lion, Pa.	James Sheets, 14, killed principal Eugene Segro of Red Lion Area Junior High School before killing himself.
Sept. 24, 2003 Cold Spring, Minn.	Two students are killed at Rocori High School by John Jason McLaughlin, 15.
Sept. 28, 2004 Carmen de Patagones, Argentina	Three students killed and 6 wounded by a 15-year-old Argentininan student in a town 620 miles south of Buenos Aires.
March 21, 2005 Red Lake, Minn.	Jeff Weise, 16, killed grandfather and companion, then arrived at school where he killed a teacher, a security guard, 5 students, and finally himself, leaving a total of 10 dead.
Nov. 8, 2005 Jacksboro, Tenn.	One 15-year-old shot and killed an assistant principal at Campbell County High School and seriously wounded two other administrators.
Aug. 24, 2006 Essex, Vt.	Christopher Williams, 27, looking for his ex-girlfriend at Essex Elementary School, shot two teachers, killing one and wounding another. Before going to the school, he had killed the ex-girlfriend's mother.
Sept. 13, 2006 Montreal, Canada	Kimveer Gill, 25, opened fire with a semiautomatic weapon at Dawson College. Anastasia De Sousa, 18, died and more than a dozen students and faculty were wounded before Gill killed himself.
Sept. 26, 2006 Bailey, Colo.	Adult male held six students hostage at Platte Canyon High School and then shot and killed Emily Keyes, 16, and himself.
Sept. 29, 2006 Cazenovia, Wis.	A 15-year-old student shot and killed Weston School principal John Klang.
Oct. 3, 2006 Nickel Mines, Pa.	32-year-old Carl Charles Roberts IV entered the one-room West Nickel Mines Amish School and shot 10 schoolgirls, ranging in age from 6 to 13 years old, and then himself. Five of the girls and Roberts died.
Jan. 3, 2007 Tacoma, Wash.	Douglas Chanthabouly, 18, shot fellow student Samnang Kok, 17, in the hallway of Henry Foss High School.

May all of the young people, faculty, and staff impacted by these acts of violence lay forever in peace and serenity.

In remembrance of Melanie Spalla who became a Nittany Lion angel in September, 1996. God speed.

Cale kicks ass.

What a weekend. It felt like there never was one. I feel like my feet have not stopped moving since the Wednesday I went to mom's to go to Chicago. Things have been busy ever since. Maybe next weekend things will be a bit slower.

Yesterday morning I had to go to Wellsville to met the realtor at my house to go through to list it. The tenants stuck around so I met both of them. I was so incredibly nervous to go, which is weird because it's my house. Anyway, he is as big of a dick in person as he is on the phone and on email. I am not sure what is going to happen - whether I will list it or keep it. Time will tell, I guess.

After Wellsville I headed to Canton for Cale's party. For those who don't know, Cale is my 17-year old cousin who is a senior this year. Not only is he just a cool kid, he is a KICK ASS drummer. I have not seen him play in a while, but he ripped it up last night. He is so much fun to watch and I am glad that I went. We had a ball. His band played for three hours then Cale dj'ed. Good times. Maggie was indoctrinated into the family during "Friends in Low Places." She was part of the kick line and got her leg going. She also was in the middle of the Chicken Polka and Brown Eyed Girl. She was a little confused, but the payoff was good. She is tuckered today.

This week will be busy. I have late nights Tuesday and Wednesday. Hopefully I will get to check out a couple of apartments in Rochester this week. I need to find something relatively soon so that I can give my 30 day notice at Kings and Queens. I am anxious to move to Rochester. I look forward to it happening.

Okay. That's it. I'm headed to my freshly-changed-sheets bed. Night!

I'm going to Disney World!

Not kidding. I really am. With my sister and mom. This is all my crazy sister's idea, but I will go along with it! The reservations are made, the food has been chosen. All that's left is plane reservations. How cool is that? My sister is incredibly generous...always has been...but this time I am thinking maybe she has gone over the deep end? I really look forward to have time with mom and Michelle. It's been a long time and we never really took much of a family vacation. We did day trips to Hershey Park and maybe some others, but I don't really remember?

So I kicked ass at the gym tonight. Are you ready for this? Seven friggin' miles. RUNNING. I ran seven miles. I hauled this but seven miles...Wellsville to Scio...that's amazing to me. The time wasn't fast, but that's not the point really. The point was that I pushed myself and didn't quit. That is remarkable since 1.3 minutes in I was checking how far I had gone. The original plan was five miles, but I was going too fast and it hurt so I dialed it down a few notches and whaddya know? I ended up going two miles further than planned. Heall yeah!

Not looking forward to tomorrow. I am going back to my house in Wellsville to meet the realtor to list it. The tenants have not been cooperative in terms of returning phone calls or emails - mine or the realtors. Wednesday morning I sent emails and called both of their phones to leave messages that I would be there Saturday morning with the realtor. I hope all goes well, but need to be ready in case it doesn't. Cross your fingers for me.

Okay, I need to grab some grub (I am starving and freezing) and get some laundry in process. I put a rip in the ass of my jeans the other day at Dick's when I squatted down to pick something up and caught my ass on one of those stupid hooks that hangars go on. Why on earth was it that low? Anyway, I only have one pair of jeans now. Dammit.