Letting go of nothing and everything?

I had my third dream this week involving Gunnar. Things get really weird when this happens, although it's been a long time since he has been in my dreams. I think that he encourages me to just take time and relax and know that things will be okay. As I was telling my office mate Susan about him this morning, Bob Marley's "Three Little Birds" came on Sirius. This along along with "Buffalo Soldier" was one of his favorites (Oh yeah...and "The Winds of Change", but that was because they were a Scandinavian band.) I know that I can be weird about things, but this is something that I don't think that I am completely weird about. Somethings up and he better not go ruining my Lenten promise of giving up men.

The night before last I dreamt that I was getting dressed in doctoral regalia. I hope that is a good sign, too. I guess that I just need to breathe, relax, and trust. It's just so freakin' hard to do sometimes. Okay, most of the time.

I do feel like I am a point of reflection and introspection. I am feeling calmer and much less angry than I have been feeling in the last few months. It feels so fantastic to psychologically let go - like feeling the tension of a tightened fist leave the hand and arm. It just feels good.

I am happy to have this feeling since when I woke up this morning one of my first thoughts was "There is a fight brewing." I don't know where, or who, or when it will be, but my hunch is work. I am not feeling like I want to revisit old relationships and am avoiding building family tension like the plague.

For now I think I just need to feel happy with the relative calmness that has enetered my life. God knows it doesn't stick around me for long.

Oh yeah...and I hit the hundred mile mark, which seems insignificant today...but I am still proud. :)

Today just wasn't the day...

I was hoping to push past the 100 mile mark today. It was a no go. Technically, I have run over 100 miles this year, but the Nike+ was acting up and didn't count it. Anyway, I didn't quite make the distance today.

Initially, the plan was to run inside on the treadmill. It was such a nice day, though that I hit the streets. I need to get in some outdoor running anyway to try and get the feel again. It is such an incredibly different feel from the treadmill to the road. I can do an easy four or five on the treadmill, but outside is an entirely different story. My pacing was off and the cold air makes a huge difference. I can't say that I did horribly because I don't think that. I was just a little disappointed that I didn't get the full distance in. Maybe tomorrow... Hopefully again outside.

Today has just really been a lazy day. It is not even six o'clock and I am so tired. I could easily take a nap and/or hit the hay for the night. I have a feeling that I will be putting my jams on soon and hitting the futon, where I will fall asleep and then not want to get up when it is time to go to bed. I hate that.

That's it for today. Nothing exciting.

It's open season!!

Oh, yes! It is PEEP season! Sure, some may say that Peeps are available year round and they are, however, are they really available all year? Let's think about this. Deer are available all year, too. So are turkeys. But we don't hunt them year round, do we? Okay, some do but they aren't very respected people now are they? No. So, Peeps are really only available during the Easter season - eatting them any other time is like poaching. Just Born now makes "Peeps" for Valentine's, Halloween, and Christmas, but yuck! The Gingerbread are gross and the hearts and pumpkins just don't even come close to tasting the same. I'm not kidding. I am a Peep addict. I should know.

Imagine my surprise when I was standing in the Easter candy section last night at Wegman's and saw green chicks. Wow! This is the first year for green chicks. While it was tempting to try this inaugural bit of sweetness, I am a traditionalist (or so my mom tells me) and went for the pink bunnies. The bunnies are way more fun to eat than the chicks. The first bite is the ears, followed by the head, and then the body. I used to get to eat the entire thing. Now, I only get the ears and head. Magpie snarfs down the body. The way I figure it is that I am getting 21.34 calories per Peep while Mags is getting 10.67 calories per Peep. Each of us get zero fat. Not a bad deal over all.

I know that not everyone loves Peeps and I really don't understand that. They are puffy little bits of sugary sweetness, just begging to give someone an upset stomach. How can anyone deny that? I have eaten so many Peeps a time or two that it results in a foamy belch. THAT's a good day. Okay, probably it really isn't, but I like them.

I joined the Peep fan club today. I don't know what I get for it, but I hope it's something good!

No gym today. Just hanging out with Maggie on the couch today. Will hit the Y again tomorrow in prep for next weekend's race. Word has it we are getting green fleece vests with our registration rather than just the standard long sleeve t-shirt. BONUS!

Also, I am planning to hop over the 100 mile mark tomorrow. If I do, I am on the way to the Nike outlet for a new pair of running tights! Watch for the big event tomorrow.

My little badges of courage...

First, I am slightly less bitter towards the male sector today, but still holding strong. Running is still better.

I had a fantastic run last night. I still feel like I am running fast, but the treadmill says I am still crawling along. That's a little frustrating, but at the same time it's okay. I am increasing my distance, which builds more muscle resulting in a decrease in fat and pounds. Don't get me wrong. I still have plenty to lose. In any case it felt good. I should have checked my Nike+ before I ended my workout because I only had .06 more to reach 6 miles. Next time!

So I am sure that it is hard for non-runners to understand, but it almost like a little badge of courage when weird things happen to your body as a direct result of pounding the pavement. Last night when I got home from the Y I realized that I was slightly banged up. My pinkie toes are still pretty gross, but I haven't bled through my sneak in a while. That's a good thing! I have little sores all along my waist from my iPod clip rubbing on my skin. I was showering after I got home and felt a burn under "the girls." I am all kinds of chafed under "the girls" and had no idea. Both the waist and under "the girls" can be fixed with regular use of BodyGlide - a nice little wax like stick that prevents chafing and rubbing. All of these little "injuries" are like marks of pride. Pride that I am actually DOING IT. It is such a slow start and is so easy to give up and quit and some days I do still like quitting, but I know how good I feel after the run. Warped, isn't it?

I have put almost 100 miles on my shoes and I am still in love with them. No plantar fasciitis. No sore Achilles. No shin splints. Thank god! Mizunos are fantastic and I don't plan on ever changing running shoes. They have made a huge difference. Originally I was running in Mizuno Wave Creations and went through two pairs of them. Bored with the only option of orange, I switched to the Wave Nirvanas. I admit that I do love the Creations better and will likely switch back in another few hundred miles. I can't wait! I love to get new running shoes.

I am also ridiculously in love with my Nike capri running tights. Wy do I have to brand drop? Because the rest just aren't the same. I've tried Wal-Mart's. I've tried Target's. They just don't measure up and they shouldn't since the Nike tights are like $54 a pair. I don't buy them at full price, but even at the outlets they are like $35 a pair. Again. They are worth it. I love them so much that I even wear them when they stink to HIGH HEAVEN, much like last night. Lordy. They could have run a buzzard off a gut wagon, but I didn't care. They are my faves. I need at least one more pair.

Chilled out with a glass of wine (size LARGE) to watch Grey's Anatomy last night. I understand the whole stuck in purgatory idea the writer's were going for, but c'mon! Meredith was dead for like four hours and she suddenly comes back when Yang touches her feet? I love Katie and all, but if I am stuck in purgatory with a guy who looked like Denny I don't care where she touches. I'm not coming back! That was just preponderous!

I think that is about it for today. It's been kind of slow this week since the schools are closed and I have not had a ton of emails from coordinators and schools. I've actually been pretty productive. No great plans for the weekend. Just hanging out I think. I still need to get in a few good miles to prep for the Shamrock race next Saturday. Should be fun!

What to give up for Lent this year? BOYS!

Yes, I said boys. This basically encompasses anyone with a Y chromosome (with the exception of family). It just seems right to call them "boys" since really none of them are able to show me that they are actually grown-up. Sadly, I do seem to have a knack for finding (and being attracted to) males who are mostly self-centered and who use little more than basic grunts to communicate. Typically, if they are having a really good in the communication arena they will use two syllable words, and rarely three syllable words, but never more than that. Anyway, ,I have decided that I am giving up boys/men/hotties/studs/etc. No phone calls. No text messages. No dates (as if that will be a big sacrifice). Nothing. I am cleansing my spirit, mind, and soul from the toxic poisons of the male species. I'm not a man hater, I have just realized they are more trouble than they are worth. And people seriously still wonder why I am still single? Okay, well it is true that I always get dumped, but at the same time those who have dumped me haven't really been all that great of a catch. Besides, I hear things that my friends say and realize that I don't need that drama in my life. So often women get the bad rap for being the drama queens, but let's face it...men act like little girls who don't get their way most of the time. BUCK UP!

Enough of the man rant...the freakin' energy suckers.

Yesterday was a no run/elliptical day. Basically I engaged in no physical activity and indulged in a ridiculous menu. Lunch was a tuna melt and homemade potato chips. Ugh. That sat like a rock in my gut. I was determined that I was not going to eat dinner. On the drive home, however, Amy called and said her man was being a pain (WHAT A SURPRISE!) and that he was out with a friend and she wasn't allowed to go. Taking pity on yet another female that was dealing with a man's hissy fit, I agreed to go out to dinner. I tried to decide on something healthy. I really did. I ended up with ravioli with marinara sauce. It could have been worse without a doubt.

Anyway, somewhere over the weekend I picked up about another four pounds. This has concerned me all week, but apparently not enough to really do something about it. So, today is the day. I am back on track and am planning at least a five miler tonight. I did bring the rest of the ravioli for lunch today, but it is justified - I need the carbs for running fuel. I do!

I am starting to try to guesstimate in my head when "THEE" letter will come in the mail. Today only makes a week since completing interviews so I figure that I need to give at least a week for the faculty to decide, another week for admissions to decide, and one more week for financial aid to decide (hoping that I make it to financial aid, but even more that I GET financial aid). So, I am thinking that I can't even start panicking until about three more weeks. That will be sheer torture. I've already decided that I will open the letter at a bar. That way, I will be ready to do a shot if I am not accepted and two shots if I am accepted. I think that's fair.

Back to work.

Get out the bikini! We're having a heat wave!

I actually hit close to 50 today. Did you get that? 50 degrees. Like as in warm, kinda. When I was in high school I always broke out the shorts at 65 degrees. Good thing it didn't get that high - I have terribly white legs right now.

Yesterday I decided to give the knees a reprieve from the pounding of running. Instead I did two circuits on the Nautilus and 40 minutes on the elliptical. I forget what a great workout the elliptical is. I also know that it really improves my running and I need to use it more. I think the weight loss is hitting a plateau, so I will be seeing more of the elliptical just to switch it up a bit. Watch out for the future muscles that will come from Nautilus. Don't be afraid.

This morning I was lucky enough to come in to work late - like noon late! It was fantastic. We have our annual meeting for the United Way tonight and we all have to go. It means that I will get home late, so I was sure to get my run in early today. The gym was pretty slow, which I was thankful. I remembered how much I hate running in the morning. Anyway, I did it. I set out to do a 5K, which I completed. Much like the last run I headed down to the treadmill to get some running on an incline. I put in another 2 miles with .75 miles on a descending incline of 4%. That might not sound like much until your butt and thighs are screaming for mercy. Hills are critical for strong running, though, and I have been doing absolutely none. It felt good to switch it up a bit. I also have no idea what the Shamrock Run will be like and I am determined to not be sucking hardcore wind at the end.

Anyway, we are off to dinner before the annual meeting. I am looking forward to bed tonight, but know that I will be reeeeeeeeally sore tomorrow morning. Ouch.

Peace out! (Yes. I did say "Peace out!").

Because I Said So...

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